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9 Posts
Hi i am new here and happy to finally found this community.
I am 20 years old and suffer, from from DPD, not Derealization, for over 1 1/2 years now.
i know many people experience it differently like people experience depression differently or shizophrenia and so on. In my case it is pretty pretty extreme in the sense that my "I" or "Me" is not existent anymore. it all started after years of depression and anxiety that i failed to tackle for multiple reasons, maybe shame maybe fear maybe stress idk. while i was just finishing school and getting ready for a gap year in hit me like a bullet in the head. i felt so abnormally horrible that i rather wanted to die but could and did not want to do it so it went worse and i intentionally or maybe my subconsious stopped any impulse from the deepest inside of me. LITERALLY. From than on i was a living dead. the first weeks i couldnt even talk normally because how can you talk if "you" are not there anymore to "feel" the talk ? after plenty of doctors, wrong diagnosis( like mediocre depresssion, shizophrenie whatever) and more or less useless hospitalizations, by accident i found out about the F48.1 diagnosis(Depersonalization syndrome) when listening the radio in the night. so from then on like october last year i started to gather information and even went to a sorta spezialized hospital in Germany(where i am from) but without any success, since it was more like a place to, well get more information about this syndrome but not actually treating you. i already found some other with DPD in this clinic to talk to, but it appeared that really none experienced this syndrome in this kind of way i did.
i finally hope to find any other people here in this community to exchange experiences, views, and informations and have a talk with. thanks for your reading. pls leave any comment if you like to .
greetings from europe to the world, Jan
I am 20 years old and suffer, from from DPD, not Derealization, for over 1 1/2 years now.
i know many people experience it differently like people experience depression differently or shizophrenia and so on. In my case it is pretty pretty extreme in the sense that my "I" or "Me" is not existent anymore. it all started after years of depression and anxiety that i failed to tackle for multiple reasons, maybe shame maybe fear maybe stress idk. while i was just finishing school and getting ready for a gap year in hit me like a bullet in the head. i felt so abnormally horrible that i rather wanted to die but could and did not want to do it so it went worse and i intentionally or maybe my subconsious stopped any impulse from the deepest inside of me. LITERALLY. From than on i was a living dead. the first weeks i couldnt even talk normally because how can you talk if "you" are not there anymore to "feel" the talk ? after plenty of doctors, wrong diagnosis( like mediocre depresssion, shizophrenie whatever) and more or less useless hospitalizations, by accident i found out about the F48.1 diagnosis(Depersonalization syndrome) when listening the radio in the night. so from then on like october last year i started to gather information and even went to a sorta spezialized hospital in Germany(where i am from) but without any success, since it was more like a place to, well get more information about this syndrome but not actually treating you. i already found some other with DPD in this clinic to talk to, but it appeared that really none experienced this syndrome in this kind of way i did.
i finally hope to find any other people here in this community to exchange experiences, views, and informations and have a talk with. thanks for your reading. pls leave any comment if you like to .
greetings from europe to the world, Jan
