[LauraP]

Hello everyone,

I'm Laura and have had depersonalisation since September 2013. Halfway through my first year of university in February 2013 I started to suffer from heart palpitations. Tests all came back negative, but my mom suggested that it was anxiety. Fast forward to August of that year, and things got much worse. Turns out it was anxiety. I'm now on 150mg of Sertraline, have done various therapies, and have spent 4 years desperately clinging on to my sanity. I'm not sure I've experienced the world in a pre-depersonalisation way since the first time it happened. It has a horrible tendency to linger.

Anyhoo, I decided to reach out for support on here because I had a particularly bad episode of it last night. I swear I have never felt so disconnected, and it was terrifying. I can't be sure of this though because it has been such a long time and there could be so many examples of worse times that I have just repressed. I have an appointment with a mental health nurse next week, which is positive, but I've learnt not to expect too much from NHS mental health services.

I feel like things have been getting progressively worse again for a while now, and quite frankly I do not have the time to let things get there. I have two jobs now from which I desperately need the money. I have a half an hour drive to work that I need to be able to do safely and without anxiety. I can't spend anymore days unable to get out of bed and focus on anything.

Just knowing that other people are suffering makes me feel a little less crazy. I hope we all get passed this horrible condition one day. Best wishes and thanks for reading

Laura

 

[106473]

Hey Laura

you certainly aren't alone.

Hope this appointment goes well. I often find with the NHS you really have to fight for what you want, they have limited to no experience in DP with anyone i've talked to, they do have a special option.. Kings College DP centre but half of them don't know about it, the other half seem to keep it quiet.

You aren't currently on any of their medications, which is interesting saying as the repot was funded by the NHS to my knowledge.. (which I can send you).

If you need a chat PM me.

 

[106473]

Hey, I wrote to your other post, for some reason, somehow, it posted on both the same thing, weird. The other message was for the other thread, never had that happen, anyway!

Sorry to hear you have had such a bad time. How long have you been on that medication?

NHS are not the best if you ask me, good service, mental health is 30 years behind, but then again it is across the world, you need someone who is open and willing to say, this isn't working yet, lets try a new angle, if you ask me. Some get stuck on a one med idea or one approach.

No one crazy here, you, I, anyone. Anxiety is easy at tricking the mind, it can sure feel like you are loosing touch, you aren't.

I've drove DP'd heavily at the start and it never changed me as a driver, it feels different, but you are there, i've played drums thinking how can I when i don't even feel my arms (thinking of your other post) but yet I watch it back and I can't even tell my own DP, a lot of this is how you feel. Anyway, I posted because of my post coming twice, as I said, i replied to your message, maybe we will chat, i hope I can be of some assurance and there is some great members in this community.

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