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Here is my story with DP/DR

378 Views 0 Replies 1 Participant Last post by  Giga_Force
I posted on here a few weeks ago, but I was having a bad episode and didn't really make much sense on what was happening with me, so let me try again and see if this turns out better.

I've been going through this since the beginning of April and has quickly gotten to the point where I'm experiencing this 24/7. I feel like it's happening from a combination from lack of sleep, heavy amounts of stress (work, family, and relationship related). I work as a Medical Record Specialist inside of a warehouse that stores about 400,000 boxes from different hospital facilities across the United States. Throughout the day, we get over 100 requests to pull charts for specific dates of services, scan them into the computer then upload to the person requesting them (usually billing departments, doctors, nurses, etc). Finding said charts can take a few minutes to sometimes 20 mins depending on where it's located. It's a very easy job, but the heat inside is a factor; since it's Summer time and there is no air conditioning, it gets to be almost 100 degrees and hard to breathe. Another thing that stresses me out is that I'm always on a picker that goes all the way to the top of the building, which is about 100 ft and I'm scared of heights, but I still do my job. The final thing at work that stresses me is that snakes can get inside and some around the area range from black snakes to copperheads. Most sections of the warehouse are dark, so a head lamp is required to see and I'm afraid of stepping on a snake.

Ok, so, here are all of the weird things that I'm going through.

- Sitting here about being alive freaks me out. I'll be playing a video game, talking to co-workers/family members, going to the grocery store, just being around people makes me feel like I don't exist; almost like a brain fog, or I'm watching things happen from an out-of-body experience.

- Time seems to fly by. When at work, I'm glad 8 hours go by fast, but when I'm home, before I know it, the time is around 11:30pm and it's bedtime.

- When I try going to sleep, closing my eyes and seeing darkness freaks me out and I have trouble getting a full breath.

- I start thinking that I'm going to be unplugged from this weird world I'm in, like The Matrix or something.

- When it's Monday, I obsess with it being Friday already so I can have the weekend off, but it goes by so fast that it felt like it only lasted a day.

- I have a huge backlog of video games to play (over 100) and I obsess about playing them, but never get time and it freaks me out.

- When I'm watching TV shows, playing games... anything that involves a story, learning about characters, I instantly start to forget about them and I feel like I never experienced them.

- When I'm driving, it feels like I'm on auto-pilot because I'm at my destination before I know it and don't remember the drive.

- Things around me just look foreign, like my hands, looking into a mirror, hearing my voice out loud.

- My dreams feel real and when I wake up is when I feel like my dreaming has begun.

When I try and snap back into my self, I try touching objects, running cold and hot water on my hand. I feel the hot/cold sensation, but it just doesn't feel right. Crazy thing is, I've never had any accidents while at work or crashed my car when driving. I know it's got to be a result of my brain shutting off everything around me as a result of too much stress going on. I tried taking small doses of Xanax to help with anxiety, but it doesn't really do anything. I also tried taking melatonin to help me get some sleep in case this was from lacking it because I've only been getting a few hours a night. Someone on here told me to get my thyroid checked, but never really explained why. I also fear the benign cyst in my head has done something to make this happen. I'm hoping that this will end soon and I can go back to my normal life, but I honestly feel like this is for life and I will have to accept it.
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