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· Registered
376 Posts
i kno some people on here feel like they have it worse but i honestly feel like my position sucks

i shouldnt want this but sometimes i wish i was in other peoples shoes, like the 3D lookin world

i dont kno how that feels

but when ur in my shoes

cant communicate with people

put off this weird vibe, make people feel weird and act weird

not being able to feel urself, talk, feeling as if everything u say is faking

yet when i talk people they just blow me off, as if what i said was weird

or had no meaning behind it

and thats what i truly feel

could u imagine

ur pressence

making others feel bad

not being able to talk to people

is there any worse hell then that

yes i could be going thru cancer

but some cancer patients still have themselfs

and could live by being themselfs

i dont wish that stuff apon anyone and not saying i would rather have that

my luck god is just gonna strike and give me that

just like that last day i was normal

i remember saying i dont want to feel anything

and wall la

here i am

if i had cancer and was going thru this dp

i might as well kill myself

i feel like getting lost

being homeless

living by a beach

in my car

and just search for myself


· Registered
376 Posts
Discussion Starter · #2 ·
also i just feel scared, especially with human contact, im just ashamed of my self

and just dont want to ruin anyones day

i dont kno y this is happening

everyone has there struggles

but this really sucks

· Registered
174 Posts
Every word that comes out of my mouth is just a strive to come off normal to others. If there was no one around I wouldn’t speak one word. The struggle to make sure I even answer someone is an issue. I’m at completely utterly gone. Like every word in this thread I can relate to. Cancer is nothing compared to this. Not undermining the suffering of that, but just like u said when ur going through cancer u still have urself which I would take over being an unoccupied body. To lose ur soul in the most literal terms is the worst tragedy imaginable.
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