[philo236]

Hi everyone. Im new to this website. I am almost 14 year old male. I need help. Heres my story. So pretty much my parents went out of town for the weekend. I was fine until randomly while watching tv i felt like i wasnt real. And everything kind of felt like a dream. It was late so i just decided to go to sleep because i thought i was just tired. The next morning i woke up. Still with the feeling. I thought nothing of it. So i just watched tv all day. And when it turned night i think i had a panic attack. Because i found out about dp/dr and read that people have had it for 20 years+ and it freaked me out. I just sat in my bed with my dog trying to go to sleep. The next morning was monday. My parents were back home. And so i told them what was happening, what i think is wrong with me, and that i couldnt go to school. Thankfully i didnt have to. I was having serious panic attacks. And appetite changes. And i didnt feel any joy in anything. Which caused another panic attack. So i researched depersonalization more and found this guy who said he had low testosterone so i went to the store and bought natural testosterone pills. I was taking them for a week. And i went to get blood work to see if that was the problem. So i got the blood work back and it said my testosterone levels were normal. But i had crazy low vitamin D. So i got vitamin D pills. The second week i was feeling better. I thought i was recovering and felt 70-80% better. So i went to school. And was feeling good. I was happy again. Then that weekend. Bam it was cloudy i believe and i fell back into the pit of depersonalization. Cloudy days make it much worse. Anyway i havent felt as good as i didnt the second week. And this has been non stop for almost 2 months. I feel like it is getting worse. All i do is stay home and watch tv. Could that be contributing to the dp? Now ill list everything that couldve caused this that i know of that have happened to me. I know im young but thats in the past.But didnt feel depersonalization the next day or anything. But what i want to know is could that have caused this. Because it was so long ago. Also im deathly afraid of planes. And i fly like 15 times a year. But the last flight i went on we flew through some green gas and there was a smell on the plane that was burning my nostrils. I thought i was going to die. I have also been diagnosed with separation anxiety and some other anxietys. My mom also thinks i have mild adhd and OCD. But i dont know. Can someone just help explain what might be happening. I always think im losing control of myself. Or that i have skitsofrenia.

Sorry for such a long post.

 

[Wendy]

Welcome to the forum!

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. Try not to worry yourself with stories of people having this disorder for more than twenty years. There are also people that have only had this for one month before it going away. The time frame differs between people, so don't create more fear for yourself.

So i have smoked weed. I know im young but thats in the past. So one time about a year and a half ago on 4/20. I smoked so much that i started kinda freaking out. I threw up a gatorade i drank before. And just layed down in the grass for 2 hours + while my friend tried to get me to get up. Eventually i got up and went home. But didnt feel depersonalization the next day or anything. But what i want to know is could that have caused this.

More than likely, no.

What is really telling here is that you have been diagnosed with both separation anxiety, among others. Depersonalization (or dissociation, in general) can be a byproduct of anxiety. Your body is an a particularly stressed state, which can often lead to dilated pupils and panic attacks. These things can exacerbate depersonalization, so it isn't unlikely that your anxiety is the cause of all of this. Are you seeing a psychologist by chance? If so, are they helping you through with your anxiety and other issues?

I always think im losing control of myself. Or that i have skitsofrenia.

This is a very common fear, but it's very unlikely that you have schizophrenia. I wrote something about this awhile back, perhaps it can help.

 

[philo236]

Thanks for replying. Im glad your dont think its from the weed. That was freaking me out. I just started seeing a therapist. For cognitive behavior i think. But whenever im there it seems that the depersonalization gets way worse and intense. Feels like im high again.

 

[philo236]

Welcome to the forum!

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. Try not to worry yourself with stories of people having this disorder for more than twenty years. There are also people that have only had this for one month before it going away. The time frame differs between people, so don't create more fear for yourself.

More than likely, no.

What is really telling here is that you have been diagnosed with both separation anxiety, among others. Depersonalization (or dissociation, in general) can be a byproduct of anxiety. Your body is an a particularly stressed state, which can often lead to dilated pupils and panic attacks. These things can exacerbate depersonalization, so it isn't unlikely that your anxiety is the cause of all of this. Are you seeing a psychologist by chance? If so, are they helping you through with your anxiety and other issues?

This is a very common fear, but it's very unlikely that you have schizophrenia. I wrote something about this awhile back, perhaps it can help.

im glad you dont think its marijuana. I am seeing a therapist for cognitive behavior. And to hopefully get me out of this nightmare. But when i go see him the depersonalization gets worse

 

[Wendy]

im glad you dont think its marijuana. I am seeing a therapist for cognitive behavior. And to hopefully get me out of this nightmare. But when i go see him the depersonalization gets worse

Well, that's okay! Even though it may get worse when you're there, seeing a therapist for this will definitely help.

But yeah, I really don't think it's marijuana. It definitely seems like you're struggling more with anxiety, which is absolutely something that could trigger this.