Nothing,
Yes, I have been in your shoes before. I have had suicide stare me straight in the face and I've had death stare me straight in the face too by doing things that nearly killed me. The reality is that these "fixes" wouldn't solve anything, as you would simply miss out on the life you have ahead of you, the life you can't see right now but that does exist.
I won't insult you by sitting here and telling you what is causing your problems right now as I really don't think the disorder is as simple as that; it is very complicated and the causes and such can be the result of a lot of intertangled life issues. Really, it will do you a lot of good to talk to someone, but (unfortunately), I have read a lot of posts on this board from people who say that their counselors were quacks; so I must be lucky 'cause mine have saved me both times.
What to do? First off, don't kill yourself. That sounds odd to say right now, but killing yourself isn't going to solve anything. You think it might, but realize that you'd simply let it win, you'd let it take your life. Next, stay around here and keep talking, listening, and observing. Last, you need to get up and out in life, you simply cannot sit still. Remember the abbreviation PYA or Push Your Ass. Move yourself to do something, anything, that can help.
Read back over a lot of these threads, even spending an afternoon sometime to get the feel for the group and what we've said to each other. Just slow down and regain yourself one step at a time....
Yes, I have been in your shoes before. I have had suicide stare me straight in the face and I've had death stare me straight in the face too by doing things that nearly killed me. The reality is that these "fixes" wouldn't solve anything, as you would simply miss out on the life you have ahead of you, the life you can't see right now but that does exist.
I won't insult you by sitting here and telling you what is causing your problems right now as I really don't think the disorder is as simple as that; it is very complicated and the causes and such can be the result of a lot of intertangled life issues. Really, it will do you a lot of good to talk to someone, but (unfortunately), I have read a lot of posts on this board from people who say that their counselors were quacks; so I must be lucky 'cause mine have saved me both times.
What to do? First off, don't kill yourself. That sounds odd to say right now, but killing yourself isn't going to solve anything. You think it might, but realize that you'd simply let it win, you'd let it take your life. Next, stay around here and keep talking, listening, and observing. Last, you need to get up and out in life, you simply cannot sit still. Remember the abbreviation PYA or Push Your Ass. Move yourself to do something, anything, that can help.
Read back over a lot of these threads, even spending an afternoon sometime to get the feel for the group and what we've said to each other. Just slow down and regain yourself one step at a time....
