[nickshannon12]

i’m free of derealization and am basically cured except for some slight times in the day but it dosent bother me or worry me at all because i’ve learned to accept that it is anxiety and i’m not dieing, but i’m thinking my brain still thinks i am or am going to. i have these weird thoughts not like existential thinking but idk. example - i’ll be doing something completely normal and something that i do in my own way and i just have this random thought omg is this normal? why do i think like this? why do i think so much? this is crazy am i dying? these thoughts seem super rapid and are accompanied by a strong feeling of anxiety just going through my whole body and than i’ll have a thought out of knowhere like what if i just get so depressed and kill myself, man i don’t wanna live with this anymore ( this one sucks the most) depression scared me so much not gonna lie i could never ever life with it i don’t think. this part reminds me that there might be something wrong with me even more and these moments arent almost even happening because i try to stop them but i’ll have these really bad thought and than i’ll be fine because i recognize them as just thoughts and anxiety with a strange feeling and will last for 2 hours with just living my life and stop worrying and when one of these thoughts pop in my head i just completely ignore it and just say blah blah that’s stupid but recently i haven’t been doing that, when i have those good times now it makes me stop them because i know i’m gonna be miserable soon. please someone tell me is this normal it’s really been freaking me out lately and i really just wanna cured now. i feel completely insane and my head hurts haha. i just wanna know if this will ever go away and will i ever be worrying and not on this werod level of thinking.