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Help please. CASH PRIZE!!!

677 Views 37 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  Martinelv
Bare with me please. I know you?re all bored with my posts, but I need your help. All of your help. From every single one of you.

I?ve recently entered a literary competition, funded by our local arts council, and managed to squeeze my way into the last 200 with my silly Tangle Man story. Now I?ve got to submit a chapter of no more than 3000 words from a novel that I?ve written, and the best three get short-listed to win ?5000, and the winner to get ?20,000 and a foot in the door of the publishing world.

Problem is, I?ve got one completed novel (A Tranquil Breeze) and one unfinished (My House on the Fjord), and I don?t know from which I should submit a chapter, even though I?ve decided on the chapter from each! The first is my real baby, nurtured over many years, and the second is just something I?ve spewed out since I?ve been ill. The problem is that I don?t know which one (or chapter from one) to submit. My heart says ?A Tranquil Breeze?, but I think it might be a little too ?off the wall?, even though I regard it as my finest work. But the other, which was more spontaneous and less provocative, might go down better. My ?House on the Fjord? seems, well, just a little trite to me, but I can?t be sure, because I enjoyed writing it so much. ?A Tranquil Breeze? has been a real slog, They are looking for unpublished writers with ?potential?, and for years I?ve been told that I have this. But now it?s crunch time. I need you all to be honest. Brutally f*****g honest. Please, I need a consensus on which chapter to submit. I?m fed up of people around me telling me how talented I am, which I know is a lie, I?m an average writer at best with a little imagination, so I?m counting on you, my faceless friends, to nudge me in the right direction. You may also notice that the occasional phrase, or sentence, has been stolen from one novel into another?but I?ve been told all authors do this! Please read the whole chapter of both, even if you?ve read them already, as I?ve spent the last week editing them to hell. I'll post them on this thread, so as not to sludge up the rest of the forum. Forgive format, lack of indentations, etc. Bloody Forum. :wink:

Please? If I win, or ever get published, I promise I?ll either donate a portion (probably insignificant!) to DPSelfHelp.Com, or dedicate the book to you all. I mean that sincerely.

Deadline for submission is in exactly a seven days time. So if you could just read the chapters from each, below, and decide for me what I should do, I?ll be eternally grateful. I know it?s selfish of me to ask, what with all your own problems, but this really is make or break for me. If I fail, my only recourse will to become a priest, and you know what?ll happen then!!! If you don?t, check out Revelations in the bible! :twisted:

Sebastian, Terri, Janine, ShyTiger, of all people, tell me what to do!
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Oh shoot, I was hoping Sebastian had made some comments.

Martin, I had read some of your Tranquil Breezes ages ago when you first came around. I wrote you an opinion then and after reading it this morning it remains the same.

I really would like to see what some of the others have to say. You can write, Martin, as many have told you. Now, just like you have asked, you just need some help in deciding which direction to go.

Okay, just to let you know I have read both very distinct and different pieces. Catch you later.
My feelings exactly. I just needed to see what someone else felt.

Martin, I wrote you that Tranquil Breezes is so raw. It makes the reader open themselves to an underworld unknown to them. You become like a voyeur of sorts. Intoxicating, yet you turn away from the rawness of it, the uglyness of it. It hits the reader right in the pit of their stomach and with intrigue, you read on. I can tell how much time you have put in to it and the passion you have for it.

But is it the target material for this group of judges???? I have no idea.

The other piece is a lovely read. I want to know all about the main character. Hard to believe it came from inside the same mind. I would read it all the way thru just to learn everything I can that goes on in his mind. "I wish I had two hearts. One isn't enough for moment like this." Damn, I love that line. Please tell me you did not "borrow" it.

I have reflected on this off and on all day as I know it is important to you. Martin, you are going to have to decide if you are going to stand by the one that has your heart and soul in it...'A Tranquil Breeze', which is off the damn wall in a big fashion to me. Or be willing to get your foot in the door with a more than acceptable piece ( trite? only beside the other piece), 'My House on the Fjord'. Have you tried to push this writing before?

I'm hand-wringing for you, Martin. I suck for not being able to decide.

Sebastian, please get thru with your "crap" and come see if you can form an opinion.

I do hope some others will join in.

With that in mind...

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Sorry to interupt. I'll make it quick.

Brainsilence, do you have time to read the book Martin recommended for the bookclub...Enchanted Night by Steven Millhauser? Janine ordered if from Amazon. It is only 130 pages long...a novella as the scarey bookstore man told me. Anyway, I think you, Janine and Martin would have a great discussion. I read it and am looking forward to seeing people really discuss it. If you are able to, it'd really be great if you could. You have done such a great job discussing Martin's with him.

Okay, again, excuse me. Martin should be around in 4 or 5 hours and you guys can continue on.

Think about it.

Yes, yes, misunderstanding as Sebastian stated.

"i always feel as though i sound pretentious when i'm explaining why i like it."

This part he wrote about himself is of course true. 8)

I understand it would be quite an undertaking for you to read "Enchanted Night", brainsilence, with english not being your native language. It's going to be an undertaking for me. I am offering myself up as the sacrificial lamb for people who have no idea how to critique a book. I look forward to learning, if only a bit.

So, thanks for your reply and Sebastian spoke the truth when he said your review was excellent.

And Sebastian...I, of course, am totally picking with you. :D and a :wink:

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Oh, that's me trying to say, in a joking way, that I do not have any understanding of doing critiques or reviews. Martin, Janine and hopefully a few other intelligent people, will be discussing the book at levels I know I did not even think of when I read the book. But, because I would like others to see that even someone a little less smart, like me, is willing to participate...I write that I am offering myself up as a sacrificial lamb to their intelligence, basically.

I hope that makes it clearer for you to understand.

Take care,
"So shut it woman. :twisted: "

I just love it when you talk that sweet love talk to me. :D

I didn't think of it necessarily as putting myself down, which I can see it could be taken that way. Anyway, I am looking forward to talking about Enchanted Nights. I'm reading it again and taking notes. We need to get up with Janine and see when we are going to get started.

"Fair enough, I did the dirty deed with her - which was my duty - my duty as a complete and utter bastard,..."

See? That's what I like about you. You have such a sense of duty even in the vilest of situations.

My hero. :D
Martin Honey, let's face it, you are a very sick man.

It's a damn magic wand!! I have powers you don't even know about. :twisted: I can poof your ass to kingdome come! double :twisted:

Don't mess with my poofer...Dear.
Just to clarify...I changed my avatar because we have a new production in the making about smoke and mirrors. The Captain had piped in so much smoke I could hardly breathe! ( A thought...his intention perhaps? :? )

Anyway, I've also got my waders on as Martin makes up so much sh$t
it gets hard to walk around here at times.

Really? You think boil on the penis is funny? :? Sounds downright painful to me. Ouchy. :shock:
"For all you know it's the most pleasurable sensation around. "

Well now, they do have those ribbed thing a ma jiggies I used to be particularly fond of...

( terri thinks dirty, trashy thoughts. :oops: oh for shame)

Maybe I will resurrect the wand...
Hello Martin,

I wish all the chapters from "The Fjord" were together. Kind of hard for me to keep the cohesion thing going. This is the first time you have introduced this character as an old woman, isn't it?

For me, the concept of the storyline is really holding my interest. I personally, love the way you are letting the main character's feelings of passion and desire spill out over the pages without any embarrassment.

If you were an actor you could play many roles. How you can write something like this and then something like "A Tranquil Breeze". It is the mind of a writer, an artist, to have so many layers and so much torment.
Such is your life.

Dimwit :evil: Yeah, I'll give you a :wink: .
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