[abctheing]

Hi, my name is Michael. I am 22 and have had DPDR from anxiety for 9 months.

When i first got this i did all the right things. I was with all my friends as much as i could, i exercised, ate the right foods. Played video games, guitar etc and distracted myself 24/7. I became better and better and had accepted my dpdr. I completely forgot i had it! My anxiety also got much better.

But recently the dpdr changed. Now i’ve been stuck in bed for a month. I can’t even watch a movie, play a videogame, or step out of my bed without the dpdr getting stronger. The ONLY thing i can do is lie in bed, distracting me with my phone. Absolutely everything else besides this makes the symptoms more intense. I don’t know what’s causing this, no one else seems to have it like this.. I can’t do things like eat dinner with my parents, i haven’t seen my friends in a long time… I even got a specialized psychiatrist but she says the only thing i can do is wait this out…

Can anybody help me? Anybody knows what this is?

 

[ThoughtOnFire]

I've seen this a lot in people with dissociation. I myself was bedbound for months. That said, I agree with your therapist.

 

[deadfellow]

Hi, my name is Michael. I am 22 and have had DPDR from anxiety for 9 months.

When i first got this i did all the right things. I was with all my friends as much as i could, i exercised, ate the right foods. Played video games, guitar etc and distracted myself 24/7. I became better and better and had accepted my dpdr. I completely forgot i had it! My anxiety also got much better.

But recently the dpdr changed. Now i’ve been stuck in bed for a month. I can’t even watch a movie, play a videogame, or step out of my bed without the dpdr getting stronger. The ONLY thing i can do is lie in bed, distracting me with my phone. Absolutely everything else besides this makes the symptoms more intense. I don’t know what’s causing this, no one else seems to have it like this.. I can’t do things like eat dinner with my parents, i haven’t seen my friends in a long time… I even got a specialized psychiatrist but she says the only thing i can do is wait this out…

Can anybody help me? Anybody knows what this is?

What is your symptoms besides lying in a bed all the time

 

[Trith]

Hello, you say that your anxiety go much better, but did it come back together with DPDR?

 

[abctheing]

What is your symptoms besides lying in a bed all the time

It just seems like nothing is distracting enough besided lying on my phone in bed. When i get up and walk around i slowly feel my self disconnecting and my ears getting pressure, then afterwards it feels like all sounds are coming from a room beside me. If i don’t go back to bed it will keep on becoming even stronger and more uncomfortable.

 

[abctheing]

Hello, you say that your anxiety go much better, but did it come back together with DPDR?

No my anxiety is still low, it doesn’t really affect me anymore. It’s not even something i worry about.

I wouldn’t say the DPDR got stronger, it’s like it changed phases. I’ve previously been through many phases, for example, one where things like driving, playing video games and being with friends worked really well and i went weeks forgetting i had DPDR. Then it kinda changed into a new phase, and i couldnt do any of these things. The only thing i could do then was watch films on my laptop while… playing with my hair. If i didn’t play with my hair 24/7 the DPDR would get stronger. I had to constantly fingle my hair, it was so weird. That phase lasted a few weeks.

Now it changed again, so only thing i can do is lie in bed. Can’t watch any movies.

 

[Trith]

No my anxiety is still low, it doesn’t really affect me anymore. It’s not even something i worry about.

I wouldn’t say the DPDR got stronger, it’s like it changed phases. I’ve previously been through many phases, for example, one where things like driving, playing video games and being with friends worked really well and i went weeks forgetting i had DPDR. Then it kinda changed into a new phase, and i couldnt do any of these things. The only thing i could do then was watch films on my laptop while… playing with my hair. If i didn’t play with my hair 24/7 the DPDR would get stronger. I had to constantly fingle my hair, it was so weird. That phase lasted a few weeks.

Now it changed again, so only thing i can do is lie in bed. Can’t watch any movies.

That is really weird indeed. Please forgive my ignorant question, but when you say that you "can't" do any of these things, what do you mean? In which way is it uncomfortable?
I'm asking because for me it is mostly constant and at a moderate level and it annoys me because it prevents me from living my life fully. I did have temporary episodes where the DR was stronger but every time I knew that it was going to pass in some hours and I didn't mind very much because of that. It was unpleasant but I could keep living my (half) life. But for DP episodes it's different. I don't feel the temporary aspect the same. When it happens, it always feels like I don't know myself anymore and it feels like it's going to be like that forever. What hurts the most is the feeling of loneliness of "not knowing" my friends anymore, or the feeling that I am going to become crazy one day and nobody will relate with me, my mind is just going to go it's own way without anymore contact with the world. I think these are the things that are the worst for me during these episodes. So it's not real

 

[abctheing]

That is really weird indeed. Please forgive my ignorant question, but when you say that you "can't" do any of these things, what do you mean? In which way is it uncomfortable?
I'm asking because for me it is mostly constant and at a moderate level and it annoys me because it prevents me from living my life fully. I did have temporary episodes where the DR was stronger but every time I knew that it was going to pass in some hours and I didn't mind very much because of that. It was unpleasant but I could keep living my (half) life. But for DP episodes it's different. I don't feel the temporary aspect the same. When it happens, it always feels like I don't know myself anymore and it feels like it's going to be like that forever. What hurts the most is the feeling of loneliness of "not knowing" my friends anymore, or the feeling that I am going to become crazy one day and nobody will relate with me, my mind is just going to go it's own way without anymore contact with the world. I think these are the things that are the worst for me during these episodes. So it's not real

It’s like im directly focusing on the DP symptoms… It gets so strong i get dizzy, can’t feel any of my limbs and my brain goes blank. I get more and more distant towards the environment. I can fully tolerate it being uncomfortable, but this feels like it’s activly getting worse, like if i’m purpously focusing on it. And no matter how hard i try to focus on something else or try to forget/ignore these symptoms, it doesn’t work…

So for example if i drive, play games or watch movies this happens. It just gets stronger and stronger, like these things are a trigger for the DPDR. But they’re not.. I feel no anxiety at all, and still the DP gets stronger. And i know that one day, the DPDR will just switch into a new phase, then i will be able to do all these things completely fine. But then there will be other «triggers» making it stronger. Wtf

 

[abctheing]

I think i actually just got a new phase today… I was laying on my bed when i got this strong feeling of silence. I knew then it was the DPDR because when this happens i know it’s changing, like it’s entering a new phase.

So now, suddenly i can walk around the house! And i can go outside for a bit! Couldn’t do that last week. I have to fingle with my hair when i do though.
I still can’t play games, can’t drive and can’t watch movies. Also, now i can’t play guitar anymore… so weird. I have been playing for weeks, but now suddenly i can’t. It’s like guitar playing is a direct trigger for the DPDR, it just gets stronger and stronger, and it’s impossible to play when i can’t feel my fingers.

But a few months ago i could do all of these things completely fine..? Now it’s like the DPDR randomizes what i can and can’t do, every few weeks.

 

[dor]

It’s like im directly focusing on the DP symptoms… It gets so strong i get dizzy, can’t feel any of my limbs and my brain goes blank. I get more and more distant towards the environment. I can fully tolerate it being uncomfortable, but this feels like it’s activly getting worse, like if i’m purpously focusing on it. And no matter how hard i try to focus on something else or try to forget/ignore these symptoms, it doesn’t work…

So for example if i drive, play games or watch movies this happens. It just gets stronger and stronger, like these things are a trigger for the DPDR. But they’re not.. I feel no anxiety at all, and still the DP gets stronger. And i know that one day, the DPDR will just switch into a new phase, then i will be able to do all these things completely fine. But then there will be other «triggers» making it stronger. Wtf

What you're going through is a form of unseen torture, but fortunately/unfortunately your story is helping me not feel alone too. So there's solidarity in this, I guess

If this helps in any shape or form: I've had severe chronic fatigue for 4 years--on and off. I was pathetic for huge chunks of time, but the months where I was motivated to survive I found out I could walk miles without eating for some shelter. I realized recently that if I surrender into the fatigue, and listen to my emotions within my body in bed, no matter how long it takes, I find a new perspective in my specific life trajectory. We're stuck in a fast-paced world, fast-paced instant answers---"where's your productivity bone??"

Then, after I get done with my self-inquiry, I am sincerely motivated to do something simple that sparks purpose or joy within my existence, and so I get a new vantage point. For at least two years I couldn't move from my bed. I sometimes couldn't get into bed so I stayed on the ground. I was very poor and outcasted, essentially; I will spare the details.

Ya can't ignore your symptoms, even if you get triggers upon triggers. Your body is trying to take care of itself, trying to change you into a better person. I am sorry if this is unsolicited advice though. I was just in a hole of battling what I wanted for myself on the surface vs what my body was really trying to say.

One day you'll enjoy a movie, and video games again, and the joy will be better than you can imagine rn. Patience, dp/dr'd friend... I'm still learning patience, too, along with you. I also can't watch a movie or read a full book... things I enjoy deeply. I love this clean slate I have, but it comes with a price and so dpdr is the huge price to pay for my now colorful emotions. Intense fear and anxiety are right under this dpdr'd tired-stuck in-bed-lack-of-concentration-over-thinking state

 

[dor]

I think i actually just got a new phase today… I was laying on my bed when i got this strong feeling of silence. I knew then it was the DPDR because when this happens i know it’s changing, like it’s entering a new phase.

So now, suddenly i can walk around the house! And i can go outside for a bit! Couldn’t do that last week. I have to fingle with my hair when i do though.
I still can’t play games, can’t drive and can’t watch movies. Also, now i can’t play guitar anymore… so weird. I have been playing for weeks, but now suddenly i can’t. It’s like guitar playing is a direct trigger for the DPDR, it just gets stronger and stronger, and it’s impossible to play when i can’t feel my fingers.

But a few months ago i could do all of these things completely fine..? Now it’s like the DPDR randomizes what i can and can’t do, every few weeks.

YES I AM PROUD OF YOU.. this is progress! congratulations you're doing it! Steady steady

"You might not get what you pay for
You know that nothing’s for sure
And an open heart looks a lot like the wilderness"

 

[abctheing]

What you're going through is a form of unseen torture, but fortunately/unfortunately your story is helping me not feel alone too. So there's solidarity in this, I guess

If this helps in any shape or form: I've had severe chronic fatigue for 4 years--on and off. I was pathetic for huge chunks of time, but the months where I was motivated to survive I found out I could walk miles without eating for some shelter. I realized recently that if I surrender into the fatigue, and listen to my emotions within my body in bed, no matter how long it takes, I find a new perspective in my specific life trajectory. We're stuck in a fast-paced world, fast-paced instant answers---"where's your productivity bone??"

Then, after I get done with my self-inquiry, I am sincerely motivated to do something simple that sparks purpose or joy within my existence, and so I get a new vantage point. For at least two years I couldn't move from my bed. I sometimes couldn't get into bed so I stayed on the ground. I was very poor and outcasted, essentially; I will spare the details.

Ya can't ignore your symptoms, even if you get triggers upon triggers. Your body is trying to take care of itself, trying to change you into a better person. I am sorry if this is unsolicited advice though. I was just in a hole of battling what I wanted for myself on the surface vs what my body was really trying to say.

One day you'll enjoy a movie, and video games again, and the joy will be better than you can imagine rn. Patience, dp/dr'd friend... I'm still learning patience, too, along with you. I also can't watch a movie or read a full book... things I enjoy deeply. I love this clean slate I have, but it comes with a price and so dpdr is the huge price to pay for my now colorful emotions. Intense fear and anxiety are right under this dpdr'd tired-stuck in-bed-lack-of-concentration-over-thinking state

Thanks, this really helped. Life will be good when this is over

 

[abctheing]

Anybody else have this thing when you try to drive the DPDR just gets insanely strong? Even happens if i’m standing still not moving. But certainly vibrations when driving and using the steering wheel makes it worse. Even though i have no driving anxiety at all. It’s like sitting in a car is a trigger, no way of stopping it. Haven’t driven in weeks now and i miss it.

 

[Benjaminsax1]

Hi, my name is Michael. I am 22 and have had DPDR from anxiety for 9 months.

When i first got this i did all the right things. I was with all my friends as much as i could, i exercised, ate the right foods. Played video games, guitar etc and distracted myself 24/7. I became better and better and had accepted my dpdr. I completely forgot i had it! My anxiety also got much better.

But recently the dpdr changed. Now i’ve been stuck in bed for a month. I can’t even watch a movie, play a videogame, or step out of my bed without the dpdr getting stronger. The ONLY thing i can do is lie in bed, distracting me with my phone. Absolutely everything else besides this makes the symptoms more intense. I don’t know what’s causing this, no one else seems to have it like this.. I can’t do things like eat dinner with my parents, i haven’t seen my friends in a long time… I even got a specialized psychiatrist but she says the only thing i can do is wait this out…

Can anybody help me? Anybody knows what this is?

Would you like to speak via zoom or something? I am 23 but yeah lost 3 years to this condition