[person3]

Help help help help.

Ok so I made a BIG step by applying for and getting admitted as a non-degree seeking student at a local private university known for being very difficult. I have 5 books for just one of my classes. I have been taking classes at a community college for the last two years so this is new and exciting.

BUT..

I have some extra stuff to take at the community college that i can take so i can at least get the associate;'s degree out of the way. I figure why not b/c i might as well have a degree already, although i will still be going to school.

BUT...if i do both things I will probably have an 18 hour school load. Fine, if I want to live at home and such.

BUT...I was thinking of moving out. I feel kind of smothered occasionally by the thought of being 22 and still living at home. I'm almost 23. I feel if I got my own place and had to work all the time I would feel a lot better.

BUT...i'm terrified, i don't want to do it, and i don't know if it's necessary. I have all the comforts at home, school is paid for, I don't really ahve to do jack shit except watch after myself.

Should I grow up and get out of the house and take just a few classes, or should I take the full load and get my associate's degree and live in a nice house with internet and cable tv (two things i probably won't be able to afford if i lived on my own working as, say, a waitress.)

also i don' want to work. I don't like jobs. I called one place, got an interview, and cancelled it b/c of stress. I thougth of going back there this week but instead of calling I focused mainly on applying to school. School starts next week and I'm frozen, I signed up for extra classes that overlap because I'm afraid to let anything go until EVERYTHINg is set in stone and I feel like I have to decide right NOW and I feel compelled to move out rather than really wanting to...I feel that I HAVE to do it or I'll be hating my life.

help guys...Janine? anyone?

 

[JasonFar]

I'm about to head out Person3...

MY advice would be go for the moving out and a few classes with the job.

But if you can't do a job -- simply cannot do it with any sense of joy or satisfaction, but all stress and fear -- I don't know if that's really a practical option.

I know this -- 18 hours of schoolwork would do me in.

 

[terri*]

Hi...this would be the Black Kettle ,

Holy Moly, I got all nervous just reading your post. :shock:

Here is my older parent advice...

if your parents don't have a problem with you're being at home

and

if your only problem with living at home is you feel compelled to move out because you are 22 (almost 23)

then I would say -

stay at home, get your school out of the way and enjoy the luxury of internet and cable tv.

You have the rest of your life to work and pay rent and live on your own.

It sounds by the cancellation of your job interview that you aren't quite ready, anxiety wise, to start working. Give yourself a little more time if that is a possibility in your life.

Take a breath, Kiddo...you're stressing me out. :wink:

Just my take. If you are miserable at home because of stringent rules and overbearing parents, then grab your sh*t and run for the hills!!!

:lol: terri*

 

[Guest]

If you really wanna take this step towards independency and if you feel that its time then head out and work for yourself. Its gotta happen sometime y not now

 

[enngirl5]

Stay at home and do the full load of school. Trust me, 18 hours will be more than enough to keep your mind occupied. I'm taking 18 hours this semester too and school starts tomorrow. If you're happy at home stay while you're in school. Most people just move out b/c they don't get along with their parents. I love living with my mom and cherish this next year that I will live with her. You have the rest of your life to be on your own. Fuck what "society" tells us you should do. Do what makes you happy. But definitely go to school. You don't need to sit around with too much time on your hands. This past 3 weeks of christmas vacation I had way too much time to think which is why I've been posting on here a lot lately.

 

[Guest]

If you could find someone willing to be your roommate, that'd be best. I've lived away from my family for about 2 years off and on now, but i've always had a competant person around to ground me and pick up some of my slack when i'm going through rought periods.

 

[person3]

Thank you very much guys, it's still very hard to decide though! More later...

 

[Guest]

Person is it possible to stay at home whilst you give the new uni a try out?
One step at a time to see how you feel?

Just another suggestion.

 

[person3]

Yes it is...but I've been staying at home and attending classes for two years. I'm wondering if it's time for me to fly...

 

[JasonFar]

The first time I flew I soared... Soared like a beautiful young eagle learning to fly. Then some mother fucking bitch ass hunter (that's a metaphor for my inner demons, or something) clipped my right wing and I came down, hit a rock, and didn't fly again for a long, long time...

Wait, I'm still not flying. I'm bruised, and I'm walking, with the occasional jump, but flyin' I ain't.

So, just cause you want to fly, doesn't mean it will go well. But there's generally not too much harm in jumping off the cliff, as the worst that will happen is you'll crash and burn, and possibly return to step -6. But you can always get yourself back to step 1.

 

[Guest]

Both of my adult kids have returned home to live a couple of times due to different reasons.
I think you will find this is pretty much normal.(don't mean to frighten parents lol).
The grass is always greener and all that.

Still you will never never know if you never never go

Whatever you decide,good luck with it all.

I feel the opposite,I'd like to move back home............no home left for a very long time..........there are shops and offices where it used to be.

Best Shelly

 

[JasonFar]

Btw, Person, is that you in your avatar?

If so.. know the actress Toni Collette?

 

[bat]

home sounds good. i'd stay there unless i really wanted to move out. i don't know why in western society people feel they have to move out from the family home; i wish i'd stayed a few years longer. live in a different country now but would love some of my family to move here

 

[person3]

pdr-

It seems important because I feel it's good to not feel so dependent on my dad...to feel like i'm really growing and not so weak; to feel capable of doing it.

shelly-

thank you for the input...i have been away to college (dallas and NYC) and subsequently moved back to Tulsa.

JasonFar-

The actress sounds familiar. Yes that is my picture.

What do you mean by your flying experience?

ZiggomatiX-

That is another option I would probably be good to try for. My dad gets upset at the idea of me living totally alone.

enngirl5

good luck with school! I'm used to the fulltime loads myself. but at this new university i don't know how the work will be.

Johnny_Utah

I know but it scares me

Terri*-

LOL, don't get nervous at another person's neuroses! You're on this messageboard, i'm sure you have enough stuff in your life to deal with!