[Guest]

Nice to meet everyone. My name's Amanda, I'm from Australia, and I'm 19. (Was my birthday yesterday. )

Erm.. I first experienced DP/DR when I was about 15, and it's been on and off since then. I started to see a counsellor in about July of last year because of Self Harm, and that's pretty much dealt with now but the DP/DR has been getting worse.

Sometimes I feel 'with it', sometimes I don't. And when I don't, it's really scary. Most of the time I can control my reactions, but other times I really break down. According to my counsellor it has stuff to do with how my parents kinda kicked me outta home because they suck, and how I'm struggling with sexuality issues at the moment. It's my minds way of blocking out thoughts I don't want to think about.

Although I kinda believe him, there are times when I think even if my anxiety clears up, it wont go away. Sometimes I believe that my thoughts are 'true', that nothing is really 'real', almost like a conspiracy. So in some ways I'm afraid to lose the thoughts because often they're the only thing that make sense. I suppose I either want it to be true and become just completely insane, or to take whatever drugs I can to make it go away altogether. I'm not currently on any antidepressents or anything.

I'm just getting so sick of coping with it. I just want it to go away. I wish it'd never started happening, and I don't know what to do.

I hope that some of you will understand what I mean.

~Amanda.

 

[MrMortgage]

It sucks to say Amanda that I know exactly what you mean! I'm so tired of coping with it too. I ask myself "why am I putting myself through this?, I should just end it right now!"

But that's not the answer to the problem... I'm sure youre getting tired of hearing people telling you to "hang in there!" but it's our only option love. All of us on this forum are in the same boat, we have to hang in there... A change is gonna come and I wish I knew when...But it is, and you can trust in that.

PM if you ever have question or just want to talk...I know how important that is. God Bless

 

[Milan]

Welcome Amanda

Nice to see more Australians joining the board. I hope the people on the board can help you like they have helped me. We can all pull through together.

What city are you from? (dont have to answer if you don't want to).

Milan

 

[Guest]

Hey, thank you so much for your replies. I'm from Perth btw. =)

Yeh I kinda feel like my psych just wants me to hang in there. I said to him the other day, 'this isn't going to go away for quite some time is it?', and he said I was right. I'm just glad there are other people who know what it's like, makes me feel less crazy.

Do you guys find you spend a lot of time on the internet? Because it never seems to happen when I'm on here. I suppose it's like a whole other world where I can feel safe and say and do as I please. In other words, no anxiety.

Another question, do you find that you're always thinking about it? That it just pops into your head sometimes for no reason? So not just the actual experience itself, but the thought of the experience?

 

[flowingly]

when you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on