[Crazyboy]

Hello. I have had depersonalization for quite a bit now. Everything feels fake. I don't feel positive emotions, and when I do,(rarely) they usually go away in a day. A bit of background; I used to obsess over angry thoughts toward women and hated them with a burning passion(don't want to get into details). This led me to listen to aggressive masculine music(metal) that gave me a chill down my spine. I think this is what caused it. I also have had some trauma in my life.

 

[Crazxan]

Sorry to hear that, you will recover it just takes awhile. I also have DP/DR and mine started at age 12.

 

[PossessedBanana]

Hello,

I know what hatred feels like and I'm sorry it happened to you, you want to hurt others and just end up hurting yourself You could look into what triggered that hatred, and talk about it calmly to the person(s) that provoked it, (or maybe your trauma or the relation you have with a relative).

So you went into DP because of your obsessive thoughts or because you listened to metal ? Because the second reason wouldn't make sense to me, except if you were into a specific niche oriented to hatred towards women.

If you have feelings and sense them (a lot with DP do not), then try foccusing on them when you feel good, even if they're rare. Do you have occupations, things you enjoy doing ? What's your current relation with women ?

Take care

 

[Crazyboy]

Hello,

I know what hatred feels like and I'm sorry it happened to you, you want to hurt others and just end up hurting yourself You could look into what triggered that hatred, and talk about it calmly to the person(s) that provoked it, (or maybe your trauma or the relation you have with a relative).

So you went into DP because of your obsessive thoughts or because you listened to metal ? Because the second reason wouldn't make sense to me, except if you were into a specific niche oriented to hatred towards women.

If you have feelings and sense them (a lot with DP do not), then try foccusing on them when you feel good, even if they're rare. Do you have occupations, things you enjoy doing ? What's your current relation with women ?

Take care

Yeah hatred is no fun. It probably started(the hatred) with being angry toward my older sister. She was not really abusive, but her personality type(mean) was traumatic to me. I am not sure what really caused the onset of DP to be honest. It could be because I witnessed my grandfathers death.

After(and during) his death everything was disturbing and disgusting to me. For example, things my sister would say just made me think things of rage. Everything was 'gross' to me and I had to listen to angry music to just to cope with it all. After that I became super depressed and thought and talked about suicide, but I digress. I am not super depressed now. I cant remember exactly when the DP started. Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time I really enjoyed things.

I don't have anything like hobbies because I can rarely enjoy them. Now I am not as angry at women, but I still have it in the back of my mind.

 

[PossessedBanana]

Yeah hatred is no fun. It probably started(the hatred) with being angry toward my older sister. She was not really abusive, but her personality type(mean) was traumatic to me. I am not sure what really caused the onset of DP to be honest. It could be because I witnessed my grandfathers death.

After(and during) his death everything was disturbing and disgusting to me. For example, things my sister would say just made me think things of rage. Everything was 'gross' to me and I had to listen to angry music to just to cope with it all. After that I became super depressed and thought and talked about suicide, but I digress. I am not super depressed now. I cant remember exactly when the DP started. Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time I really enjoyed things.

I don't have anything like hobbies because I can rarely enjoy them. Now I am not as angry at women, but I still have it in the back of my mind.

Hello,

I'm sorry about your grandfather, it might have played a huge role in inducing your DP yes. Have you talked about your feelings and condition with your family or any friends ?

 

[Crazyboy]

Hello,

I'm sorry about your grandfather, it might have played a huge role in inducing your DP yes. Have you talked about your feelings and condition with your family or any friends ?

I talk about it to my friends and family but they don't seem to understand. It could be because I can't feel love/connection.