[buttercup]

Hi everyone

Im 21 and i heard about this site from an OCD site i use.Up until very reciently i thought that i was the only person in the world who felt like this . I don't think that i can really explain it properly but i'l give it a go.

Im not to sure how long i have felt like this for but i know its at least a few years now but i can't really remember my life before hand its like i wasn't part of it or that any memory/feeling has been wiped out..I had a nervous brackdown 4 years ago now and iv'e never felt wright since.

I do normal everday things but i don't feel like i am doing them/don't feel like i was part of them.It feels like im in a bubble trapped away from the world all the time like im not connected to the world.Nothing feels normal or like it should, like im numb 24/7 .It kinda feels like im dead inside and that theres know way out.I know my life changed completly 4years ago when i had the brackdown but i know my life has been hell for all of my life, iv'e had a hell of a lot of bad stuff in my life but im not sure if that has anyting to do with it or if i was just destined to feel this way.I just know that i would give anything not to feel this way.

Sorry for the essay

 

[Guest]

Hey buttercup,

You will find that alot of people here will be able to identify with what you are saying. Which while sucking for most people at least you are not alone in what you are going through.

I try not to put my pyschologists (sp?) hat on most the time, but from what i have read DP/DR can be closely linked to traumatic life experiences. So possibly addressing these previous issues, which i assume helped towards the breakdown also?, may help you to start back on the path to at least feeling whatever the word 'normal' means to you.

In relation to being destined to feel this way...well personally i dont beleive in that. While we are shaped by what happens to is in our environment i like to think we get the final say. Also im 25 had a relatively peacuful existance yet am being totally fucked over in the mind department so its probably just us:wink:

Take Care

Jamie

 

[buttercup]

Hey vexdster

Thanks for the reply .In a way i wish that i was the only person like this so that others didn't have to suffer as well .As im very new to all of this and i don't know very much about DP/DR its intersting to know that it can be linked to traumatic experiences and unfortunally thats all iv'e had in my life and im not sure weather my mind just kinda shut down because it just had to much to deal with or if this all just happened for another reason.

I think i had the brackdown because everything just got to much and i wasn't strong enough to cope guess that it was the straw that broke the camels back.For many years now i have been trying to get all my past probs delt with but it hasn't helped at all but i haven't given up,while theres life theres hope .I tend not to think of the past anymore as its just to hard but i guess you do when everything around you reminds you of it so i guees i just try to blank it all out.

I know only to well what its like to be f----- over in the mind department and in many ways i would say that its worse than any phiscal stuff.

Best wishes

Sian

 

[Guest]

I think i had the brackdown because everything just got to much and i wasn't strong enough to cope

Been there...well..am there should i say. Its not much fun really :twisted:.

 

[buttercup]

awww *hugs* i wish that there was something that i could say to make you feel better i know only to well what its like to feel like you are unable to cope and its a bloody horrible feeling.I know its easier said than done but you really have to believe that these feeling WILL pass and that you are not always going to feel like this.I still struggle a lot of the time but i do get glimpses of the sun and im sure that you will to.

God bless

take care

 

[Phill]

Hi Buttercup and welcome to the site. I hope you get helped by the site.
I've been here for a while now and it has helped me heaps.
By the way i'm Kodie from the ocd site. I'm glad you took my advice to come here.

 

[buttercup]

hi phill

Thanks for the advise about comeing here think that it was the best bit of advise i got :lol: Glad to hear that the site has been a good help to you and i hope that its the same for me.Do you find that other people don't have a clue what its like when you try to explain it to them? i find that when i try to explain it to my friends/profeshionals the don't know what the hell im talking about .

Anyway once again for the top advise.

buttercup

 

[Guest]

Do you find that other people don't have a clue what its like when you try to explain it to them?

buttercup

I always feel a bit..well...mental when trying to explain what i am feeling and how it is affecting me. But then i suppose that 2 months ago if someone had said to me that they are constantly feeling like their head is full of treacle and now and again dont recognise themselves or familar environments i would have been taken aback. I guess its one of those shit things where you have to experience it to really understand it.

My doctor is pretty understanding and he is probably right to keep going for the anxiety angle, as i think that is the cause of all my evils, but i sometimes think he does not get the ful extent of what i am saying to him in relation to the DP/DR side of things :shock:

...and as for explaing to friends. Well i dont and just wear one of my fancy masks when i am around them :twisted:

But anyways, i guess all we can do is keep plugging away at our respective doctors etc and hopefully bang some sense of what we are trying to explain to them