Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello My name is Kelly and I'm 28 years old. I've been suffering from derealization and depersonalization for the past 5 years now. It seems to have gotten drastically worse over the past year or so though. My father passed away two years ago, which caused me to be removed from my longtime home. I got pregnant a month after he died with a man I only knew for 2 months.. we moved into an apartment and have been here since. I got pregnant again only 6 months after my first, so now I have two very small children and I am alone all day with them as my boyfriend works long days. We often struggle to pay our bills. I have no friends so I have no one to speak to. So I basically just sit up here and dwell in my anxiety all day. I feel like I don't know where I am all the time. Like I don't recognize my apartment or the rooms or my kids or my boyfriend. I know who they are and where I am though.. I'll sometimes tell myself to tell me what's in my drawers in my kitchen to remind myself that I DO know where I am. My hands look funny to me, I panic in the shower because I become "super-aware", probably due to the constant stimulation of the water hitting me and the bright lights. I've become scared of going outside. I panic when I drive and when I'm in the supermarket. I get caught up in panic cycles worrying about crazy things like the sky. I make myself walk my dog every day though so the fear of the sky has sort of dwindled as I made myself realize there is no danger from it. I don't know. I just feel extremely disconnected from the world and everyone around me and it makes me very scared.