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Hello everyone xx ; I don't feel 'alive'.

730 Views 1 Reply 2 Participants Last post by  Grindelwald
My name is Brittanie. I'm 18 and I've recently been diagnosed with depression, among other things.

Traumatic childhood events have made me the person I am today. However they have also given me unwanted feelings that I cannot always explain..

Often I live more in my dreams more than I do while i'm awake. I tend to "zone out" or dissociate more than welcome. I find myself in these wonderful places where I am not anxious, or tired, or watching from a weird perspective. I'm just happy and free. At least, until I wake up.

All the while, i'm having to cope with the loss of 3 siblings and my best friend.

I often don't know what I like and dislike, because in the end, it doesn't feel like it even matters. I know it does matter. It must matter. Because here I am, on this site, looking for support.

I wish I had support from my family, but they are .. ignorant to mental illness. They would not acknowledge my condition under any circumstances. Which I guess is why i'm here.

At least now, I know i'm not alone.
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I would definitely seek a therapist, personal losses at a young age are a terrible thing to have happen so early in your life. But you are right, you are not alone. Based on what you said it doesn't sound like you have Depersonalization though. But that is not to delegitimize what you're going through. Maybe you have some PTSD?
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