Hi Everyone,
I am new here, and have been reading this forum for some time now, but do feel as if I should post now because well basically I cannot stand feeling like this any longer.
I suffer with depression and anxiety, and I have agrophobia too. So it is really a case of decreased functioning (from the depression)which is causing the agrophobia.
I have been suffering recently with what I think is depersonalisation. When it first started, I had 'emotional numbness' and felt like my soul had been taken away from me. I cried for about 3 weeks, and had a constant 'grief' like pain. It also felt like I was talking 'outside' myself emotionally, like i was taking an objective view of my own opinions, like I wasnt 'inside' them, if you know what I mean. It really did feel like parts of me had gone, or wiped out, like all the informatiom etc had gone completely, you know like parts of your charachter/ sense of self, basically it felt like evrything before this had been in different 'compartments' and now it was all one big 'mush' in my head. I was wondering if anyone can relate to this, at all?
I do keep forgetting things, and also when it started I felt like I was in a different dimension or all alone on my own wavelength. My hands felt funny, like there was an electric current that had been swithched off(brain electricity?) And when i lie down or something, my head just feels 'dead' inside, where as before, i could feel something. I dont feel '3D' as it were, like there is no depth to anything, or ying/yang .
It feel like the 'axis' of the brain is at no particular angle (if that makes sense)
I hope these things come back, and dont get permanently wiped out. Its these types of things that scare me the most
Also, I find that im doubting everything i used to believe in, i can think' is it me, or was it real?' Like im doubting the person i was / still am. Or my outlook, like its been wrong, or something
Then out of the blue, I can think of a senario from the past which confirms that the particular belief as fact, but it seems like any inner'stucture' I had has collapsed, and nothing will ever be ok again. Everything seems fragmented, and am wondering if, since this has happened, has it changed my outlook? Like i have all these doubts and worries i have to go over to see if there has been any change so I know where im up to with it all
where as there felt like a way out of my illness before, but now it seems like one big 'maze' as it were, and will never get back to where i wanted to be, or will never be the same person again
All I can say right now is i am very very scared, and I hope someone can answer if this seems like DP?
Thanks for listening
Isobel x
I am new here, and have been reading this forum for some time now, but do feel as if I should post now because well basically I cannot stand feeling like this any longer.
I suffer with depression and anxiety, and I have agrophobia too. So it is really a case of decreased functioning (from the depression)which is causing the agrophobia.
I have been suffering recently with what I think is depersonalisation. When it first started, I had 'emotional numbness' and felt like my soul had been taken away from me. I cried for about 3 weeks, and had a constant 'grief' like pain. It also felt like I was talking 'outside' myself emotionally, like i was taking an objective view of my own opinions, like I wasnt 'inside' them, if you know what I mean. It really did feel like parts of me had gone, or wiped out, like all the informatiom etc had gone completely, you know like parts of your charachter/ sense of self, basically it felt like evrything before this had been in different 'compartments' and now it was all one big 'mush' in my head. I was wondering if anyone can relate to this, at all?
I do keep forgetting things, and also when it started I felt like I was in a different dimension or all alone on my own wavelength. My hands felt funny, like there was an electric current that had been swithched off(brain electricity?) And when i lie down or something, my head just feels 'dead' inside, where as before, i could feel something. I dont feel '3D' as it were, like there is no depth to anything, or ying/yang .
It feel like the 'axis' of the brain is at no particular angle (if that makes sense)
I hope these things come back, and dont get permanently wiped out. Its these types of things that scare me the most
Also, I find that im doubting everything i used to believe in, i can think' is it me, or was it real?' Like im doubting the person i was / still am. Or my outlook, like its been wrong, or something
Then out of the blue, I can think of a senario from the past which confirms that the particular belief as fact, but it seems like any inner'stucture' I had has collapsed, and nothing will ever be ok again. Everything seems fragmented, and am wondering if, since this has happened, has it changed my outlook? Like i have all these doubts and worries i have to go over to see if there has been any change so I know where im up to with it all
where as there felt like a way out of my illness before, but now it seems like one big 'maze' as it were, and will never get back to where i wanted to be, or will never be the same person again
All I can say right now is i am very very scared, and I hope someone can answer if this seems like DP?
Thanks for listening
Isobel x