[kknight]

i really really need help to cope. for months, i've been feeling like i'm an alien to myself. like i don't know where i am?? inside me. all my thoughts just feel like they just come in. when im talking, i'm watching myself talk. and somehow i'm able to say everything, have complex, philosophical conversations but i have no idea how. i'm just way back in my head the whole time. this is the same with actions. i play tennis everyday and i have no idea how i'm able to, i'm an observer all the time.
i'm also always tripping over everything. like i'll see a building and i'm just like freaked out. how we are on a globe and there are just multiple storied buildings. it's like im looking at life in theory while i am outside it. and i'm just really not in my body. floating around, muted, lost, confused. the only thing that gets me through is hope. i used to be a really negative person before this and now the only thing i feel and fall on is hope. only thing that connects me from one moment to another.
please tell me these things get better or that these feelings pass. i have so much of life to get back to. i'm supposed to travel in a few months and stay far from my support system and i just can't wait for this forever. i'm just so on the edge of everything. a few more bad days and i don't think i'll be able to stay alive..

 

[ThoughtOnFire]

You got this bro. It might sound cliché, but there is always HOPE. You have a positive perspective about it in my humble opinion. By that I mean this, I adopted this philosophy early on: Warrior! This is a massive challenge for anybody going through it. And everybody who doesn't go through it, would have just as much trouble/challenge ahead of them, as we do. Unfortunately like many things in this life, the only people who truly understand are those who are or have gone through it. I don't let that alienate or isolate myself from other people, though. Because imagine if they only knew what we go through every second of every day for extended periods of time, then they'd look at us as strong individuals maybe even heroes, one could say.

For many it does get easier over time. That amount of time isn't fixed, it's different for everyone. And some will say by living your life the same, which you do, that it will start to go away. Personally I haven't found that to be true. However, it's important to still attempt to live your life and not overthink or dwell on it. I recommend mindfulness or even a simple breathing meditation. That's one activity that has certainly helped me get through this shit. Also, I've found that in stormy times, there is always a silver lining. Basically I find my greatest joy in enjoying the simple things of life. A cup of tea/coffee, a simple conversation with a friend (even small talk), a beautiful nature scenery such as mountains/sunset or even a tree outside the window.

Soldier on through brotha! I hope you start feeling better sooner than later! Cheers!

 

[coolwhip27]

Yup.. I’m also amazed at the things around me. Life seems so beautiful and big to me, yet I’m upset that I can’t feel a thing.. I’m here, but I’m not..