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Heart Beat

582 Views 3 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  Crumbles
Hi everyone,

Does anyone ever listen for their heartbeat during the day? Im having CBT at the moment and this is something I mentioned to the Community Psychiatric Nurse. Im constantly listening for it. It's something I think that I've done for nearly a lifetime. Dont ask me why!! I suppose it's just to see that Im still here/alive. When he told me that a most people dont monitor or listen to their heart beating I thought to myself " Shit, am I the only person who does this" :). Anyway, I had to try and go all day today with out listening to my heart beat. I found this really weird. It's like when you try to quit smoking, wanting to have a *** but knowing that you should'nt. It felt as if there was something missing from my daily routine.
Problem I have with this is that it adds to the feeling of derealization. I feel like a ghost as it is most of the time. Just goes to prove that CBT does work I suppose as what I was doing felt normal, although It quite obviously is'nt :)

Has anyone else had this problem? or am I alone on this one?
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Yup, I do it to. In fact, I hate the sound of my heart beat. I can't sleep on my side with my heart facing down because I just hear it over and over again.

I remember this one time I was really sick (had a hard time breathing) and they hooked me up to this breathing machine with steroids. They had my heart on a beeping monitor. I kept hearing it over and over: "beep! beep! beep! beep!" and because I could hear it, it started going faster and faster until finally it just flatlined. The doctor took the thing off of my finger, and starting taking my pulse with his watch. He said: "You have to calm down!" I said: "Fine! just don't let me hear my heart beat again!"
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