[flowingly]

i can't take these feelings and thoughts anymore. i almost want to die. i feel so unreal and hopeless and frustrated and trivialized and tormented. why won't it stop. why won't the feelings stop.

i've been crying so much that i'm getting dehydrated. it won't stop. it won't end. i tried distracting myself. i tried praying.

please. why won't it stop. i just want it to stop. i feel like it's just a matter of time before i go brain dead. how much can one brain take? why won't it just stop.

i'm so scared.
i'm so scared.

 

[flowingly]

i'm so scared. feels like "reality" can crumble at any second

 

[Guest]

it won't stop because your consuming yourself with it

I understand, believe me I do, I feel weird every day, but I try not to let it consume everything that I do.

I wish I had the answer, but I think that you can only find the answer within yourself.

Just try your hardest to concentrate on something else

also sleep is always a good escape

 

[flowingly]

it won't stop because your consuming yourself with it

I understand, believe me I do, I feel weird every day, but I try not to let it consume everything that I do.

I wish I had the answer, but I think that you can only find the answer within yourself.

Just try your hardest to concentrate on something else

also sleep is always a good escape

thanks.

i'm trying.
i really am.

 

[peacedove]

I feel for you flowingly. I have been there. Are you on any meds? Usually after I cry I feel a little better, but sometimes it just won't stop. Like when I started taking effexor I was like sobbing hysterically for hours at night until like 4 in the morning. And a lot of times it's not med related.

Have you tried writing all your thoughts on paper? I have this racing thoughts problem and it was especially bad a few years ago. I remember when I wrote them all down I felt a little better afterwards. It's like the same thoughts keep circulating, but if you write them down it gets them out. And then you will have something to talk to your therapist about... if you have one, if you don't you might want to look into that. I know I have all these problems but usually when I get in my therapist's office my mind goes blank. It's weird. But if you write everything down you can bring your thoughts with you and get help with them.

Also... I'm sure you've tried just about everything, but I'll make some suggestions anyway. Try watching funny movies or movies you used to watch when you didn't have DP. For me it's movies I watched when I was a kid. It's comforting somehow. Call up someone you know that loves to talk. I know this guy who's really smart and he'll just go on and on about all this interesting stuff, it's hard to even get a word in. I call him a lot when I'm about to have a panic attack. He helps me distract myself.

 

[sebastian]

Flowingly: If you're still awake at this late hour, know this:

1. You are not, at all, alone in this. You feel like you are. That's the nature of the illness. You feel like you're the only person existing in your own crumbling world and that all the reality you thought you knew is shriveling up in front of you like a dull illusion. But you aren't the only one there. There are multitudes of people going through EXACTLY what you're going through right this second. RIGHT THIS SECOND. I mean, i've been there before...others on here have been there before...but others are going through this simultaneously with you. You should know that.

2. I have been there as well. Up late...assured of insanity. And i mean ASSURED. Positive that you're going insane...that your brain is prepared for a meltdown...that reality has all been a big horrific memory and that you're headed for some sort of uncharted oblivion where you'll have not so much as a Virgil to guide you. It's a lie. You'll be fine. It sounds ridiculous, but you will.

3. DP is a product of anxiety. You're perpetuating it by worrying about it, but even you with all the energy you're devoting to it...even you cannot harm yourself. Your mind will survive stronger than ever. And do you know how I know this? Because anxiety can only make you BELIEVE that you're going to die/go insane...it can never actually do it. This is common knowledge.

What's happening to you right now...as absurd as it sounds since it appears to you like the world is falling down around you...is nothing but a regular good ol' fashioned DP/anxiety attack...and without any reservations, i can say to you that...while you might not be 100% tomorrow...in fact, i know you won't be 100% tomorrow...but you will be a little better over time...and then as more time passes you'll get even better. You'll have dips and dives and ups and downs, but you'll adapt...and then, before you know it, you'll get better, and you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.

Good luck Flowingly...and don't worry, you'll get better.

s.

 

[boohoo]

Flowingly, I feel like that a lot, I'm with you. I have panic attacks that last 2 hours, on a regular basis especially at night. I can spend hours not knowing where I am or what I am and being so terrified that I feel I can never be the same again. I've been through a phase where I had these panic attacks many times every day but even after all that, my brain still works(!) and I can even feel normal for days on end, no dp, actually normal and relaxed and peaceful.

 

[Guest]

It?s gonna get better, Flowingly, there will come better days - and too, better nights. However anxious and desperate you feel right now, please know - these are only feelings. I?m having bad nights as well, and I mean BAD, full blown anxiety attacks, when I feel like you describe - that it won?t stop and my brain would just walk out of my head through my ears. But it never happened - my brain is still where it should be and after those terrible nights, good days full of sunrays and hope come back. These are UPs and DOWNs and everybody on this board know these - don?t let the DOWN phase beat you, just wait for the UP phase. It will come, belive me. Sooner or later, it always does.