I think the last time I was on here was a month plus or so ago. I'm doing a lot better, thankfully. Ended up in a detox\outpatient after hitting rock bottom because of my drinking\benzo habit and it helped me out a ton. The one (of many) mistakes I made with having this for so many years was never talking about my issues. I would spend all my time on here or drinking\hanging out with negative people and never really giving myself a healthy outlet to deal with my issues. For the majority of us, I don't think there is a singular medication that will make this go away. Theres a reason that me and you feel like this.. for me I think it relates to always being a very anxious and over-aware person. I never found a healthy way of dealing with it, besides drugs\drinking, and that spiraled out of control. Please don't let yourself suffer in silence, staring at a screen for months and years of your life, wondering why you haven't gotten better. It is possible, and although it took me six years to finally realize what exactly my issues were, I found out that its honestly never too late to ask for help. Its OK to say yourself you can't handle being like this.. Reach out anyway you can and try to connect with life and healthy people.
I'm by no means cured yet, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
for any new people reading this, you can honestly get better (I promise!). I've felt it all. Complete lack of emotions,not recognizing myself and the world around me at all,visual snow\tracers\halos etc etc. At times it was so bad that the closest thing I could describe it as to other people was that it felt like being on a bad mushroom trip. It takes time to heal - don't give up on it!