[Jigoku]

I'm really considering doing this. I've already tried smaller doses ranging from 0.2g to 3g so I think I can handle doing 4-6g, I just need to have the right setting. I guess I'm making this thread to ask about your experiences. I definitely think shrooms will bring me back to the emotional world, and I feel ready to face my reality. I know this will be very hard to experience, because I think I've been dissociated since early childhood. I have to accept the fact that I've let everything truly important to me pass me by because I was too overwhelmed by my early childhood trauma. I have to accept my current socioeconomic status. I have to accept the things I've done and said in the past. I have to accept the state of my relationships with family and friends. I have to have the courage to live despite my past and present. I also believe I have to process the terror that overwhelmed my brain/nervous system when I was an infant. So, since I have 10g of shrooms, I'm thinking about taking 4g of shrooms next week and 6g the week after.

What do you guys think? Am I being too naive? What are your experiences?

 

[nicewon]

I've done shrooms plenty of times before I was dped can be alot of fun or a nightmare, make sure your with somebody that cares about you if you go on a trip don't do it by your self

 

[Jigoku]

I don't really have anyone to do it with. I feel liket that the crisis line would be enough to keep me safe.

 

[Broken]

I have also been playing around with this recently. There are anecdotal reports of shrooms even curing LSD induced HPPD (seen a youtube video on that and reddit reports)... It is a weird one in that it can cause and cure things of this nature.. I have only positives to report after taking shrooms the last month. I tried a 'hero' dose last week, but very weirdly it never hit. It did nothing. I became emotional and connected with my gf but it didn't cure the DPD.. or change that. Do a lot of research and OWN your decision. Don't take my word for it, I have taken into account the risks and shrooms making this worse and to me, in my individual case, the potential benefit outweighs the risk

 

[forestx5]

On Thursdays, my local Country Cookin offers free shrooms on my ribeye. I always ask for a hero's portion.

www.erowid.com has a lot of testimony on use of illicit hallucinogens. Your experiences

with illicit drugs can help medical experts understand more about these substances and their affects on the brain/mind.

 

[Jigoku]

update.

I took the shrooms yesterday and I have to say it didn't rewire my brain or anything or have the effect that I wanted, but I did learn a lot. It let me get outside of my ego and it showed me how I came off as to other people, and I hated it. I found my way of life intolerable. Before the trip, I was basically just some depressed dude crying and researching about childhood trauma.

It showed me that my lifestyle is just fucked and I need to change it. I've signed up for my local recreational centre today and I plan on going there everyday to swim/meditate/stretch in the steam room. Once my mood improves, I plan to apply for jobs and start working asap, I believe being unemployed is a big reason I'm ill. The shrooms also seemed to show me where a lot of my tightness is in my body, which I believe is where my trauma is stored.

I also now know that shrooms are not a magic pill. They have the power to give you the self awareness you need that is often taken away due to depression. The harsh truth is that I was acting like a complete loser and if I don't fight for my life, I'm seriously going to end up homeless, alone, and on welfare. I don't think I will do shrooms at my house anymore though, I've never had a good trip here. I think I'm going to try taking a microdose before going to the rec centre, last time I did it it lifted my depression for a few hours.

 

[Broken]

What was the dosage you took and was it dry/not dried? Glad you gained some insight from it. I will be trying again soon

 

[Jigoku]

4g dried, ground psilocybin cubensis. I don't think I'll take a dose that high anymore though, it always ends up being a bad trip. I'm taking it every morning going to slowly increase my dose starting from .2g and combine it with exercise. I took my first dose today and I already feel much more emotion.

And you probably have already seen this, but I would say my trip kinda led me to this video.

 

[Broken]

I'm reading a book of similar theme at the moment. Called lost connections. Johann Harri I think he is called, did a podcast with Joe Rogan. Was interesting.

A bad trip can sometimes bring insight. What was bad about it? I might take a larger dose tomorrow. I have been tinkering with salvia. A silly drug to play with but the kappa opioid system is probably involved with dpd so am seeing if it has any effect.

 

[Jigoku]

With high doses, I usually experience some kind of catatonic episode where I become stuck in some kind of loop, I don't know how to explain it. I also start to feel intense shame and embarrassment at my past behavior, being mentally ill, and current socioeconomic status.

I'm going take a rest day tomorrow because I think I'm taxing my body too much. On Thursday, I'm gonna try taking 0.4g of shrooms and head to the rec center again. I do some pretty weird stuff there, but hey, anything to overcome this horrible condition. Bioenergetics, yoga in the steam room, and swim sprints. I have to yet to release any emotions or come out of dp though, but It's only just the beginning so it's only reasonable. I have noticed though, that compared to a few days ago, I have changed from the inability to cry, to feeling like I'm about to cry but I can't, so I guess that's progress.

 

[forestx5]

The nice thing about the shrooms I get on my Ribeye- on Thursdays, is that they don't meddle with my psych. They just give me a full, satisfied, content feeling. I don't feel shame or embarrassment

in eating them. I hear they are quite nutritious as well. Even if they don't increase my self awareness, they still seem like a deal....since they are free.

 

[Phantasm]

Taking hallucinogenic drugs is always a risky thing to do if you have mental health problems.

forestx5, I'm not sure it should be a casual thing.

 

[Aridity]

High dose hallucinogens are one of the things that can trigger DP/DR (not to mention HPPD), & can make it worse in people that already experience it. I had episodic DP/DR as a child, but after taking LSD around age 16/17 it became constant; that was 27 years ago & I haven't recovered yet (I also got HPPD).

Take hallucinogens at your own risk, you have been warned!

I also had DP/DR in episodes when I was very young atleast 6 or 7 years old,it became constant at 16 I guess after an aural migraine. I am almost 24 now. Did you get any relieve from anything? I am not even looking for a cure,just a relieve...

 

[Jigoku]

So I took 0.4g today. It definitely helped my dpdr, but I couldn't fully get out of it. I was at the rec center for maybe 2 hours just trying to get back into my body, but to no avail. I'm going to try 0.6g on Saturday. I don't think shrooms can get you out of dp by itself, but they are a great tool to help you find the tightness in your body. Although I couldn't evoke any emotion today, I do feel like I got a bit closer to releasing than 2 days ago. One day at a time I guess.

 

[Broken]

I will say that I had a big drop in DP during a shroom trip. I felt the weight of my body and looked in the mirror and felt my sense of self. It was like my inner abdomen (psoas) relaxed, my hips and legs. Also my hearing felt less acute and tunnelled when listening to music. Had positive feelings and felt really relaxed. It was nothing but positive for me... I'm still trying to get to 'hero' level without vomiting but finding it hard.. ginger has helped with nausea

 

[Jigoku]

For me the shrooms greatly relax my hip/lower back, my neck, and traps. I take it as a sign that those are the areas I need to stretch and massage if I want to release my trauma. Also gonna try something called osho active meditation on Saturday.

 

[Phantasm]

I read some of Osho's books. He's like a guru, kinda cool - his followers (foundation) are kinda weird tho.

 

[Jigoku]

So I took 0.6g and did 5 minutes of osho active meditation, but still nothing. I think taking them every 2 days is building a tolerance so I'm gonna take it every 4th day I go to the rec center. So I will try .8g next Sunday. I really just want one emotional breakthrough.. just gotta be patient I guess

 

[Broken]

Keep it up! I am on day 5. More emotional connection, better socialising, more colour and appreciation. Also dreaming more and waking up earlier and feel more rested and relaxed.

Downsides being slight insomnia and taking longer to get too sleep and sometimes over emotional. Some moments of feeling spacey but have stopped taking it every day and that has stopped. Keep us informed good luck

 

[Jigoku]

so I took a jump in my dose to 1.4g yesterday, after waiting 1 week to avoid tolerance. I think I'm going to stick with a microdose of 0.2g every week. Higher doses make me nauseous and I feel like I lose control. I also had a psychiatric assessment done 3 days ago and she prescribed me an antipsychotic called Risperidone. I haven't read much positive anecdotal reports on it, but I'm still gonna give it a try.

Since last week I've been taking in a ton of probiotics like kefir and sauerkraut and I've noticed my stool looks much healthier. I think my mood has slightly improved as well.