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One of the biggest things I struggle with regarding DP is my complete and utter lack of emotions.

I can only really feel anxiety, guilt and shame and the occasional slight frustration. I feel nothing when I laugh, nothing when I cry, I don't feel love for my friends, family or pets, I can't feel excitement or look forward to anything, I don't feel the grief from my mother taking her own life anymore, I don't get angry or sad- I spend most of my days being numb or anxious from over-thinking.

I was wondering if anyone has recovered, or partially recovered, from DP and gotten their emotions back? If so, what was that process like? Did they come back slowly on their own, was it a sudden overwhelm of emotions, did they come back while working through things in therapy?

My biggest fear is spending the rest of my life unable to genuinely feel anything. It makes life meaningless, at least for me, and makes it difficult for me to care about my future, my health, etc. since I have no internal motivation and no incentive to do much of anything.

Thanks in advance to anyone who responds. These forums can be simultaneously terrifying and reassuring.
 

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Hi I can maybe give some help
One of the main symptoms I've had is numbness it use to be as bad as how you describe but no more as bad
So the numbness has lifted a bit it's still there but not as bad
I at times will have it lift completely and when it does my emotions feel to overwhelming and then I numb again
Its been getting better slowly over months but I'm still not quiet right with my feelings.
I think 9f my numbness goes I would be 100 percent
 

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I lost all positive emotions at age 17, following a sequence of epileptic seizures. According to a British Neurological Text, I was a worse case scenario because my post - ictal psychosis

segued into an affective disorder of major depression. I also lost my libido with this trauma. I was extremely ill for 6 months following this incident. I suffered harsh anxiety which

killed my appetite and caused me to lose 30 lbs. I suffered extreme insomnia. I felt powerful sensations of irrational guilt and hopelessness. This 6 month period served as a template

for 4 future episodes of recurrent depression, which occurred approximately every decade of my life. I would say that I recovered approximately 75% of my emotions and libido over

a period of a decade or more. I was never really able to properly mourn the passing of my parents. I lived by my intellect, absent emotions. The recovery was a gradual process.

During those decades, I continued to experience spells of Deja vu, loss of mental integration, brief loss of control of my tongue

and throat, ocular migraines, in addition to the psychiatric symptoms associated with depression. My panic attacks were actually focal temporal lobe seizures.

At age 57 or so, I found a case history very similar to mine in that journal I found while browsing the internet.

I ordered an EEG and MRI which confirmed my self diagnosis of epilepsy. My temporal lobe was trashed. I had ECT in 2014, and it was like resetting a crashed computer.

My depression is gone. I still have occasional migraines, but no big deal. I would say my main health issue now is.....I'm old. LOL

It is something I was unprepared for.
 

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Ive gotten my emotions back but everything else is still almost as bad besides the fact im used to dpdr now so it doesnt give me AS MUCH anxiety. Getting my emotions back just kinda happened...it mightve been because i did stuff that would normally make me happy or laugh and hung out with people or got out to do things despite how scary and daunting it is.
 

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Wow really relatable. What caught my eye was the fact that you said that you can feel guilt but no motivation. That’s weird. I have no emotions except anxiety, fear, frustration and a very very light anger which I guess boils down to frustration. What I find is if I spend the entire day doing nothing I feel no guilt. One year ago I would’ve felt so guilty for doing that but now I feel nothing. It made me realize how powerful the feeling of guilt is. It always motivated me to get my shit together but now it’s gone.
 

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I just came across this link to a page about causes and treatments for Depersonalization Disorder. It explains what parts of the brain are affected and also the extreme anxiety precursor. I'm thrilled I found this after all my doctors and years of investigation. This could help all of us who suffer from Depersonalization. I'd like us to all see what we come up with.

https://www.selfhacked.com/blog/depersonalization-its-causes-and-potential-solutions/
 

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One of the biggest things I struggle with regarding DP is my complete and utter lack of emotions.

I can only really feel anxiety, guilt and shame and the occasional slight frustration. I feel nothing when I laugh, nothing when I cry, I don't feel love for my friends, family or pets, I can't feel excitement or look forward to anything, I don't feel the grief from my mother taking her own life anymore, I don't get angry or sad- I spend most of my days being numb or anxious from over-thinking.

I was wondering if anyone has recovered, or partially recovered, from DP and gotten their emotions back? If so, what was that process like? Did they come back slowly on their own, was it a sudden overwhelm of emotions, did they come back while working through things in therapy?

My biggest fear is spending the rest of my life unable to genuinely feel anything. It makes life meaningless, at least for me, and makes it difficult for me to care about my future, my health, etc. since I have no internal motivation and no incentive to do much of anything.

Thanks in advance to anyone who responds. These forums can be simultaneously terrifying and reassuring.

https://www.selfhacked.com/blog/depersonalization-its-causes-and-potential-solutions/
 
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