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4 Posts
This is probably going to be long and very rambling, but please bear with me. Some of this is copied from a post on reddit by what feels like the only other person out there experiencing what I'm experiencing. They stopped posting a while ago though, which feels foreboding.
Starting about two years ago, this weird symptom has been completely ruining my life. It's so difficult to describe but I'm going to try. I get these very specific feelings or 'vibes' by seeing things, smelling things, listening to songs, watching movies, or even sometimes entirely unprovoked. Again, they're very specific and hard to describe. It's weird, they feel very familiar in a strange way, almost like memories. They're not like any regular or particular emotion, nor is it deja vu. They range from being pleasurable to downright horribly awful to experience. They're also accompanied by images, most of the time just random scenes, sometimes pulled from distant memories or sometimes just totally random. Like a train station at night, or an apartment building, or a skyline at night by a river.
These feelings/vibes can be really really intense and consume my whole reality. Sometimes I'll spiral and have a week-two week long period where I am completely overwhelmed by the vibes and basically non-functional, and it feels like utter hell on earth. That's what really started my downward spiral two years ago, and nowadays it feels like I just live my life trying to avoid these vibes. Again, sometimes the vibes aren't bad- but these days, most of the time they are,- and sometimes I feel like that's just how I live life, everything has a vibe connected to it.
It's really destroying my life because anything can be a trigger and it leads me avoid a lot of stuff. I used to love long drives but now I avoid them because they pretty much always trigger bad vibes these days, just looking out the window during a drive feels 'dangerous' because a building or neighborhood could trigger a vibe and then I'm completely consumed by it, and it runs the risk of spiraling into an episode. I'm afraid to get a job because what if the place I work at triggers these vibes? Same with going to school. I basically don't leave the house much, and I avoid watching movies or listening to too much music to avoid triggering a vibe. I'm afraid to do anything new in case it triggers a bad vibe.
The other issue is that when something becomes connected to a bad vibe, then that thing is 'contaminated' and exposing myself to that thing again makes me refeel the vibe. Like if I'm experiencing a bad vibe while listening to a song, then listening to that song later will make me experience the vibe again.
I know this doesn't make much sense, and probably sounds crazy if you don't know what I'm talking about, but I'm hoping someone on here understands what I'm going through and can shed some light or offer advice.
I've become really worried that this is a sign of something very serious, like some form of brain disorder or something. It just feels like the way that I experience life itself has become screwed up and I can't make my mind go back to the way it was before. Paired with the fact that nobody seems to feel the same way or get what I mean, save for one person on reddit who vanished, I'm afraid that this is being caused by something horrible and won't stop or will get worse.
Starting about two years ago, this weird symptom has been completely ruining my life. It's so difficult to describe but I'm going to try. I get these very specific feelings or 'vibes' by seeing things, smelling things, listening to songs, watching movies, or even sometimes entirely unprovoked. Again, they're very specific and hard to describe. It's weird, they feel very familiar in a strange way, almost like memories. They're not like any regular or particular emotion, nor is it deja vu. They range from being pleasurable to downright horribly awful to experience. They're also accompanied by images, most of the time just random scenes, sometimes pulled from distant memories or sometimes just totally random. Like a train station at night, or an apartment building, or a skyline at night by a river.
These feelings/vibes can be really really intense and consume my whole reality. Sometimes I'll spiral and have a week-two week long period where I am completely overwhelmed by the vibes and basically non-functional, and it feels like utter hell on earth. That's what really started my downward spiral two years ago, and nowadays it feels like I just live my life trying to avoid these vibes. Again, sometimes the vibes aren't bad- but these days, most of the time they are,- and sometimes I feel like that's just how I live life, everything has a vibe connected to it.
It's really destroying my life because anything can be a trigger and it leads me avoid a lot of stuff. I used to love long drives but now I avoid them because they pretty much always trigger bad vibes these days, just looking out the window during a drive feels 'dangerous' because a building or neighborhood could trigger a vibe and then I'm completely consumed by it, and it runs the risk of spiraling into an episode. I'm afraid to get a job because what if the place I work at triggers these vibes? Same with going to school. I basically don't leave the house much, and I avoid watching movies or listening to too much music to avoid triggering a vibe. I'm afraid to do anything new in case it triggers a bad vibe.
The other issue is that when something becomes connected to a bad vibe, then that thing is 'contaminated' and exposing myself to that thing again makes me refeel the vibe. Like if I'm experiencing a bad vibe while listening to a song, then listening to that song later will make me experience the vibe again.
I know this doesn't make much sense, and probably sounds crazy if you don't know what I'm talking about, but I'm hoping someone on here understands what I'm going through and can shed some light or offer advice.
I've become really worried that this is a sign of something very serious, like some form of brain disorder or something. It just feels like the way that I experience life itself has become screwed up and I can't make my mind go back to the way it was before. Paired with the fact that nobody seems to feel the same way or get what I mean, save for one person on reddit who vanished, I'm afraid that this is being caused by something horrible and won't stop or will get worse.