...blinding themselves????
This may sound like a totally absurd idea, but let me explain.
I have come to realise that suicide simply isn't an option for me. In fact the whole idea of suicide seems totally paradoxical in the case of dp, and even depression. I consider myself fortunate in this case. Suicide has only invaded my conscience because I feel it has to, like 'Shouldn't I be considering suicide by now?', without actually wanting to.
However if I ever was to make a rash decision, then I think blinding myself would be it. For a start, most of my scariest dp type moments have been caused by my vision, as opposed to any other sense. There have been horrifying moments where the world was so 2d, I swear I was watching a cartoon or something. There have been many times where I have just had to close my eyes, and pray that when I opened them everything would be back to the usua,l tolerable level of unreality or flatness. I can't look my family in the face for very long before they start to look all weird. Just the general weirdness of how the world looks, is perhaps what causes me the greatest distress.
There's something pure about auditory experience. I often feel if I could just focus on people's voices as the most solid, untouchable and fundamental part of my world, rather than looking at how unreal and cartoony they look, then I wouldn't feel so weird and so alone.
Ok, so I seriously doubt I'd ever actually blind myself, but it's interesting and almost comforting to know that there is a last resort that doesn't involve self annihilation.
This may sound like a totally absurd idea, but let me explain.
I have come to realise that suicide simply isn't an option for me. In fact the whole idea of suicide seems totally paradoxical in the case of dp, and even depression. I consider myself fortunate in this case. Suicide has only invaded my conscience because I feel it has to, like 'Shouldn't I be considering suicide by now?', without actually wanting to.
However if I ever was to make a rash decision, then I think blinding myself would be it. For a start, most of my scariest dp type moments have been caused by my vision, as opposed to any other sense. There have been horrifying moments where the world was so 2d, I swear I was watching a cartoon or something. There have been many times where I have just had to close my eyes, and pray that when I opened them everything would be back to the usua,l tolerable level of unreality or flatness. I can't look my family in the face for very long before they start to look all weird. Just the general weirdness of how the world looks, is perhaps what causes me the greatest distress.
There's something pure about auditory experience. I often feel if I could just focus on people's voices as the most solid, untouchable and fundamental part of my world, rather than looking at how unreal and cartoony they look, then I wouldn't feel so weird and so alone.
Ok, so I seriously doubt I'd ever actually blind myself, but it's interesting and almost comforting to know that there is a last resort that doesn't involve self annihilation.
