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Before I start my experience with DP can be read here.

I have decided to start the Harris Harrington program as I feel I have exhausted other avenues. I have never tried any prescribed medicines for my DPDR as I'm not comfortable with medications. My actual outcomes of doing this for a few days are at the bottom of this entry.

My initial thoughts on this programme are that its obvious he has done a lot of reading to produce this. I am not a Psychologist so I'm not sure if the activities he has picked out for you to do from the general realm of Psychology are the best ones. It seems to reference a lot to text books where he has cherry picked some things he found helpful to his recovery. It could in theory save you a lot of reading.

I have approached this as follows;

1. I watched all the video's and made notes on the recommended Activities
2. Started doing the activities and went back to where he spoke about the activity I'm doing for more detail.

The only problem's I have encountered with the HH stuff is as follows (I will update this as I find more flaws)
1. There is no mention of how long it should take to fully heal (if you can fully heal)
2. There is no mention of how long you should be doing each activity for
3. He lacks any credentials other than having had dp dr himself. (I suppose thats better than some doctors as non of them know what the hell's going on with me).
4. There needs to more on identifying trauma itself
5. I need to know what in specific I'm meant to be getting out of the activities. A lot of the time he gives a pre amble then describes an activity but doesn't say what you are supposed to get out of doing some of the activities.

The activities listed (not in order) in the programme.

· Write out thoughts "as if" you were going to send them

· Write about which aspects of yourself could produce shame in yourself or others

· What aspect of yourself was disturbed to the point where you felt depersonalised?

· On piece of paper make three columns Victim / persecutor / rescuer write down thoughts that make you enter into each state do a number of times for interpersonal conflict. This a reflective exercise.

· Observer self and experiencer self integrations (e.g. describing your movements)

· Describe your surroundings

· Describe any pain or physical or discomfort or physical sensations

· Listen to music listen to whole track then focus on one instrument then listen to all and single instrument

· Create a safe place in your mind that you can go to in times of stress.

· Child mother visualisation - imagine mother coming to you and helping you

· Affirmations

· Write down every traumatic event in chronological order . Write a paragraph for each

· Same as above for relational trauma

· Write a life narrative

· Keep daily journal to understand thoughts

I have done a few 'as if' letters and written out the 'shameful' things. wow. I have written 10,000 words in 2 days. Im not writing these things perfectly. Im kind of just brain dumping on the word doc. These two activities have been extremely cathartic. Even if you dont think anything of the HH stuff - give these a try .... I felt so relaxed after doing them and had a very good sleep.

I have a lot more 'as if' letters to write and did actually feel as if a weight had been lifted off my brain. The best way to describe this was that my brain felt a little more looser. No changes in depersonalisation yet.

One thing to note is that it seems this HH programme takes time. I would like to know how long it takes but it seems more of an ongoing process. My thoughts are that this will be a set of tools you get that I will then need to work on for a set amount of time each day. I have always avoided the pysch route thinking that it was just a load of BS. Doing the initial activities might have swayed me a little bit.

1 week in (watching and doing activities)

DPDR still at 100%
Anxiety at 50%

will keep going with it.
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