[dissoziation]

Like the title says, I'm back home after being suddenly hospitalized last week. It wasn't for any reasons related to DPDR but it's caused me to have brief (usually lasting a second or more) dissociative episodes due to everything that happened. Some of the symptoms I used to have returned because some of the other patients scared me. I stayed home today from school to take more time to ground myself since I wasn't used to the outside world after being in the facility for 6 days with no access to the outside world apart from meetings with family. I've been diagnosed with bipolar type II now.

Just hoping not to have to go back for a long time.

 

[forestx5]

Hospitalization is usually a large disappointment. I think I read somewhere that people who suffer mental illness and have been hospitalized twice have a greatly increased risk of suicide. It makes perfect sense from my experience.

Hospitalization turns out to be a disappointment, and it is one less thing that you hoped could help you. Many years ago, I allowed my doctor to hospitalize me after he promised I would receive more intense treatment. I was suffering from severe depression with insomnia and anxiety.

I'm walking on the ward when a middle aged lady dressed professionally walks up to me and looks me in the eye. and In a stern voice she says "you have a choice,....you know?". Then she strutted off. I was stunned. She wasn't a nurse. She must have been in administration or something.

I knew right then I was in the wrong place. The next day I walked out of the hospital against medical advice. I made my choice.

 

[Chip1021]

I would recommend staying away from the hospital at all costs, and your experience is one of the many reasons for that...now you have to deal with another "diagnosis" and all the negative consequences that result from being so-labeled. Rarely can they actually address any real problems. I've been hospitalized several times, and I can't think of anyone who viewed their stay as beneficial. Well, there was one way they were beneficial...sleep meds, and they will be sure that I get sleep. So if I haven't slept for several days, I might go into the hospital for that reason only. Of course, I have to lie to get in, but that's what you have to do to get what you need.

 

[dissoziation]

Hospitalization is usually a large disappointment. I think I read somewhere that people who suffer mental illness and have been hospitalized twice have a greatly increased risk of suicide. It makes perfect sense from my experience.

Hospitalization turns out to be a disappointment, and it is one less thing that you hoped could help you. Many years ago, I allowed my doctor to hospitalize me after he promised I would receive more intense treatment. I was suffering from severe depression with insomnia and anxiety.

I'm walking on the ward when a middle aged lady dressed professionally walks up to me and looks me in the eye. and In a stern voice she says "you have a choice,....you know?". Then she strutted off. I was stunned. She wasn't a nurse. She must have been in administration or something.

I knew right then I was in the wrong place. The next day I walked out of the hospital against medical advice. I made my choice.

You've got that right. I've had to go through these kinds of treatments in late 2013 and then outpatient in early 2017. The outpatient experience was better than 2013 but I disliked both experiences for obvious reasons. I didn't have much of a choice this time because my mom and therapist insisted on it after I admitted I was having suicidal ideation and I couldn't do anything about it. I just cried and cried and couldn't stand up for myself because of how much I cried and because it had gotten to the point where I couldn't breathe. My depression ended up getting better an hour or two into waiting but then I was officially admitted which made the crying come back.

I will say that I suppose the stay helped in some form though I can't identify it right now. I feel weirdly optimistic about this whole experience even though it was oftentimes a negative one. However this event showed me that I should probably be more careful with admitting that stuff to certain figures in my life-a nearly full week of inpatient hospitalization over a 2-hour depression episode that happened because of an itchy trigger finger moment on my mom and therapist's sides.

I would recommend staying away from the hospital at all costs, and your experience is one of the many reasons for that...now you have to deal with another "diagnosis" and all the negative consequences that result from being so-labeled. Rarely can they actually address any real problems. I've been hospitalized several times, and I can't think of anyone who viewed their stay as beneficial. Well, there was one way they were beneficial...sleep meds, and they will be sure that I get sleep. So if I haven't slept for several days, I might go into the hospital for that reason only. Of course, I have to lie to get in, but that's what you have to do to get what you need.

Right. Honestly though, I don't mind being diagnosed with bipolar type 2 unless it's actually wrong and there's something else I have. It's something I have to get used to, of course, but I've had my suspicions that I could have it since 3-4 years ago. I wouldn't say that my experience was 100% negative though obviously bad things did happen. I guess I have to continue from now on to try and get help.

 

[Chip1021]

You say you would have problems with the diagnosis if it were wrong. How would one go about trying to prove you or the doctor wrong? What sort of thing would constitute evidence that the diagnosis is wrong?

Mental illness diagnoses are all unfalsifiable, which doesn't negate their usefulness. I would just take the diagnosis with a grain of salt and focus more on what makes you feel better. If lithium makes you better, it doesn't prove you had bipolar, just that lithium helps you cope and makes you feel better. Same with any other med or therapy.

My point being is that if you end up in the psych hospital, you will get a diagnosis. And from my experience at the psych ward they don't even make the effort to make it look like they are even doing anything remotely scientific. At least as an outpatient they usually give you forms to fill out and ask a bunch of questions to make it look like what they are doing is scientific.

 

[dissoziation]

Right, right. You've got a point about the last part, but I just feel indifferent about this experience this time around. As long as I know that I have a problem and that I'm getting help for it, I suppose that I'll be fine.

 

[Chip1021]

I'm sorry, its just part of my nature to get people to try to think critically about these things, so I tend to talk about it whenever I get the opportunity to do so. I hope that you find something that helps you.

 

[PerfectFifth]

Right, right. You've got a point about the last part, but I just feel indifferent about this experience this time around. As long as I know that I have a problem and that I'm getting help for it, I suppose that I'll be fine.

Remember that you can also help yourself, often more than anyone else can help you. Frankly, in most psychological matters I believe that ultimately it's only you who can help yourself. Others can encourage you to help yourself and provide you with helpful information, but they can't "fix" you for you.

Like Chip already said, I'd recommend to take your diagnosis with a grain of salt and engage in self-reflection and looking for ways to help yourself. Leaning on a diagnosis and living under a belief that you're now helpless and fully at someone else's mercy because someone diagnosed you with a psychiatric disorder is counterproductive. There's a good chance that there's absolutely nothing abnormal in your brain function.