Goodbye I think.

Hi,

I am so tired, physically and mentally. My son is 2, and he's very jittery, he is always doing silly things, and I have to run after him and check him, he's VERY active, and he doesn't talk much yet, so he scream, to be understood. And I can't cope with him and DP/DR. It's gettin harder. I have to educate him, after all I am his mother, and my boyfriend thinks the same, but he don't liscen to me at all, he runs in all the house when I try to dress him, and he doesn't want to eat good things, etc. I am exhausted, and I feel like I have failed as a mother.

I NEVER loved to be a mother. It's terrible to say that. I have no energy for that, seriously, I can't. I don't know why I thought I would be a good mother. I don't like it it's too hard. And dealing with terrible derealization at the same time, lack of energy, etc. I fell away all the time, and I feel so sad. I don't even realize the spring is right there, and I don't feel happy. Like there is no future.

On top of that I am tired AND nervous, so I don't know which med could help me.

It's hard. I just want to sleep.

Sorry for the post. I am complaining.

Karine