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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi,

I think it would be useful to have some good books to read about anxiety (mostly if it talks about dp/dr!!!!). I am not updated on books, maybe Janine is? I know there are a thousands of books available, but I wonder if Janine of other have ideas :) Positive books :)

Thanks

Cynthia xxx :)
 
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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
The main books I'd recommend besides my own, grin, are Dr. Claire Weekes. They're old, not up to date, but her information is 100 per cent accurate.

However, that said, you don't need to read much more on anxiety states, dear one. You know alot at this point, have excellent understanding of the world of symptoms.

You're still trying to FIX the symptoms (make them disappear) without addressing the Reason they came into being. All the focus on the symptoms themselves isn't going to help. It's reassuring, yes, to read about other sufferers and realize you're not alone. For that, I'd suggest Dr. Weekes's books.

Also, there is a set of books by Edward Bourne on anxiety that are pretty good. But again, I recommend with hesitation, because that is not what's going to ultimately cure you.

Peace, my friend,
Janine
 

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well, i saw this thread and saw that janine had replied and, assuming she would make no mention of her own brilliantly conceived bits of literature, i was going to start this off by saying, "Well, Janine, being the modest minx that she is, failed to mention her own books...etc, etc." However, since she couldn't resist the temptation (albeit supplemented with a coquettish "grin" as if to imply that she just threw hers in gratuitously, and didn't actually think they were up to snuff (which, by the way, i'm sure she does believe they are indeed well beyond "snuff")), i would just like to add that these books by janine are the best i have read on mental illness in general, and i believe they are in fact, the only books in the world specifically on depersonalization.

Seriously, they are "must-have" companions for the darkest of nights. The first one "Freudian nights" (by the way, i'd love to see a "Freudian Knights" fiction novel done...1001 Freudian Knights...think of the possibilities...) is an empathetic biography in which one will find many parallels with one's own struggle with this disease. The second one however, "Unravelling", is the DP bible, and should be read and reread at any cost. Not only is it an enormous comfort to read (from the opening lines, "If you're terrified, Start Here", one begins to feel the relentless pangs of anxiety and distress fade into the background), but it also gives a logical structure to the inner-workings of the mind, which are so often lost in the catacombs of thoughts and worries we ensconce ourselves in.

I would highly recommend reading these two above all others.

s.

p.s. i received no financial compensation for posting this...although i do plan on hitting her up for a loan.
 
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Hi Janine,

I KNOW the reasons why I felt this way..... I talk about it since 14 months.... but it doesn't help for my symptoms! I cried, I got angry, I spoke to at least 5 psychologists, 3 psychiatrist, did EMDR 3 times, I speak to my currents doctors, I wrote it, talked to my parents, friends, analysed it millions of times, I swear...........

I still have symptoms. Meds helps to cope,but I still don't know who I am, still have derealization, and distorstions of time. I still feel not in the real world. I feel hopeless inside, dead inside.

I hate this. I don't know how to heal. I am not good to heal:( Serious I try so much. I begin to think I will end up confused like this ALL my life. I am terrified. I don't want to think abou that. Just want to forget. I had too much, too much pain and fear in the past year. All meds who can ease up the process, I take it. Anti-benzo or noy, Anti-paxil or not. I just got into hell, and I just want to come out.

Thanks

Cynthia xxx
 
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
About book,

I read and re-read unraveling. But the first one, I swear, I was afraid of it, I didn't understand the purpose. (thousand and one Freudian nights)That time, I didn't know Janine :) :) Maybe should I re-read it.

Cynthia
 
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Well, yes, that's why I am in love with Sebastian. (thank you, seriously. Very kind words of support)

Coucouc: I apologize for being so aggressive there. I just KNOW you from things we've PM'd about, etc. and you remind me so much of myself in the way you are so afraid of the symptoms. Of course you want it to go away, and I didn't mean to sound like I'm unsympathetic.

I wish I could TAKE the awful feelings away for you, truly do.

But...as much as we want to read all about the way we feel, there is a point where it's not helpful to us anymore. We CAN read, it's not going to hurt you, but the way out of the horror is to work on OTHER areas of self, not the symptoms.

I know it makes no sense, lol...I thought it was the dumbest thing I ever heard myself. But it is the way out.

Talking in therapy about OTHER aspects of your life, your self, your desires, fears, ambitions, confusions...all the things that make up YOU apart from the symptoms...that is the key to unlocking the door.

Peace, my friend, and I do apologize for sounding harsh,
Janine
 
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Well,

I will TRY not to read too much on this anymore. TRY not to obsess about this DP site :) I will TRY to read other stuff, ?TRY ot to think for a day that I have DP. I will TRY to fake old real life. With my friends, and baby, and boyfriend.

God it sounds hard! I am addicted to those sites!!! Like an heroinoman lol

Take me by the hand and I will make it. I will focus OUTWARD one day, for REAL. And the minute I will not care about meds, or DP, it will go away. I will become myself. Without support. Just me.

I hope so :)

Cynthia xxxx
 
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
les coucouc secret, et la chose la plus dure a faire - est ne pas essayer tellement dur. C'est vrai cependant. L'essai de ne pas penser aux symptomes est juste une autre maniere de la pensee aux symptomes. Les temps que je me sens que mes meilleurs sont quand je n'essaye pas de ne pas penser au DP. Quand je me suis juste laisse aller de pair avec l'ecoulement de la vie. Je pense que quel Janine doit indiquer peut vous aider. Ecoutez elle, et realisez que vous ne deviendrez pas bien durant la nuit. Une etape a lo fois.......
 
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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
tristement, le DP exige l'attention. On le voit en tant que quelque chose qui menace tres, et est donce difficile d'ignorer.
 
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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Thanks for your secret language lol (thanks for trying) Le francais est tr?s difficile ? apprendre. Je le sais.

Yesterday I went for a wlak, with boyfriend and son, and I wasn't feeling like a friday night. I knew somewere inside it was friday night, but I kept thinking I didn't feel friday, like I am drugged or something. Not real, not there. My boyfriend was talking to me, and I was looking at him, and I felt totally estranged from environment. I kept thinking : this is not normal, it's Paxil who does that, it's something else, I will stay like that,etc. And in the meantime I was trying hard hard to feel the old me (the me I know), and I felt totally vulnerable because it didn't work. I was trying SO hard to WAKE up myself, and being lucid, and I felt so much in a nightmare.....

Does it sound anxiety again?

Can it go away? What do I have to think in these moments? What do I have to say to myself? Why do my mind freeze and I can't think correctly and try coping strategies?

I always come at my house, and think : I am crazy, it's not working, and without meds, it just worse, I swear.

After that, don't talk to me about not going on meds! I have been DP before meds. And at the emergency, (2 weeks after my delivery)where I waited 6 hours (without meds), it was the worst day of my life. I just thought I was going crazy. I remember it well.

So, where do I go?Even if I am anti-benzo in a way, maybe that would be good for me?

Sorry, I didn't mean to go here today, but I KNOW janine and others do understand.

Cynthia :(
 
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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Sorry, self taught with French. And only just now learning a little Dutch (very cheerful language by the way.) Always looking for a chance to practice......

Most of us here understand what you talk about coucouc. That's because we are like you. All part of this same club you know. As far as what to do to get out of this club...............that's why I suggested you listen to Janine. She has apparently been here, and managed to get back out. I have had a chance to actually sit down over coffee with Janine. She really does seem to know what this stuff is about, and - aside from that annoying twitch in her left eye (think Chief Inspector Cloussoe from the Pink Panther movies) appears to be fairly sane. There are others here who can say the same. And all of us - including you, are survivors. That makes us very strong individuals. Not sure if you have noticed - but this stuff can be a little difficult to deal with at times
:)
I stand by what I said above though, as far as what I think the secret is. I only wish I could do it myself.
 
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