thanks it's a good essay but i really don't think the writer has an understanding of cotards, dp or dr. he seems to explain all by some kind of gentle break from reality. in my experience the total awareness of being dead was horrific. second by second i couldn't bear it. although i love my family more than my own life i wanted not to exist. the worst part of this torment was that i KNEW that if i killed myself i would stay in this unbearable state for ever. i know it's a personal hell and i'm glad that people are trying to understand distressed minds...