Going Mad.

As I was beginning to start to feel myself again, to reconnect with my surroundings and find my self worth, my abusers traumatize, kick me out, abuse and shit on me (figuratively). I am now homeless and going mad. I'm tired, and overwhelmed. My legs no longer want to keep moving forward, and my mind is telling me to just quit. I want out.

Dying is easy, but living is the hard part. I hear this phrase alot, but to me, going against all of your natural instincts to survive and end up having to kill yourself sounds pretty damn hard. And I would never disrespect the lives of all the people that have left this world through suicide and say that "they took the easy way out". Because tying a rope around your neck and going though such severe pain to end the mental misery sounds pretty fucking hard. I'm not trying to justify me planning on killing myself, I'm just confused. I need serious help and support, or I don't even know anymore. I need my own place, where I feel safe, but I have no money. I'm still so young, I just don't understand.