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Going crazy? Probably not...:(

613 Views 1 Reply 2 Participants Last post by  Sojourner
Hey all...I think it's finally happening, I'm desending into schizophrenia. I know i'm not really, or probably not really, especially since I am worrying about it. However, I remember that one time on a TV show someoen said "do you know how upsetting it is to have your son call you and tell you he is scared because he is hearing voices." So there has to be a rational period before the crazy part, right? I know it's all crazy...but i'm just pissed off, in a way, because I was doing wellk, then the dp/dr came back really badly, and I'm in the feeling where I'm sure my brain is in some other plain, things are about to be scrubbed from in front of me, I can't find a thought to grasp in my head, feven though I know i'm thinking thoughts. The thing that really bothers me is that I will be thinking something and then i am having another thought at the same time. How is that possible? I figure this MUST be because of some early signs of craziness. OR maybe i'm just possessed. I will be playing a video game, and focusing on that, and a voice in my mind is saying things in the back, like "you're going crazy, you're gong insane, surrender to despair," etc etc etc. I figure this has to be schizophrenia. I don't know, it's just been really bad, and the worst is that i feel like i'm floating in my head, and there is nothing but white around me, figuratively speaking, and i feel like hte entire universe is looming down on me and i'm trying to grab onto something, something that is mine.

I think part of the problem is that we left the beach after two weeks today, and it just feels like I wasn't there at all, and i have dreams like that where I can't remember that i've been at the beach, or when I went. Time and place just seem so weird to me. We drove to Richmond today for a party, then we are going to where I live as home. In addition to all this, i met someone who i know I would be good with (my aunt-in-law's brother) and we had two nights were we just talked for like four hours each night, but he lives in Dallas. Sigh...Hoping things get better. Wish me luck in getting better soon! :?
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