Depersonalization Support Forum banner


6809 Views 28 Replies 11 Participants Last post by  Martinelv
I was brought up Christian. Always believed I was Christian... even when I got my DP as a child and it wouldn't go away. I prayed for "my problem" to go away, but it didn't. When I was in third grade, I asked my teacher "Why did God create the world if he knew there would be so much pain and suffering?" She thought for a minute and said "Well have you ever had the fun of making something out of clay and didn't want anyone to destroy it?..." And she just kinda trailed off. What kind of answer is that?!

I've been to church, I've been preached to by an uncle that's in prison now for incest with his adopted daughter, my cousin. And I tried to believe it, I tried to read the Bible. But I just don't get it. If God is all-powerful.... why didn't he create everything perfect... or at least better. And I've been told well it's beyond our comprehension that's where faith comes in... you just have to believe. But how can anyone NOT doubt that there's a God?

Is this life really a gift? Did Jesus really die for my sins so that I could go to Heaven? And what sins??? I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask to be here. The way I see it we're all innocent, even if Jesus didn't die for us how could we be held accountable for these sins? We were created to make sins... I don't understand this free will crap. What is free? I am in a trap. I live and do what I do to get by.

The Bible says drinking to the point of intoxication is a sin. How can it be a sin if when you're not drinking you're in complete terror? How can you be sent to Hell for that? How could a loving God send any of his "children" to Hell??? And this whole Satan thing.... didn't God create Satan....? He was an angel but got kicked out cuz he disagreed with God or something? I don't get it.

I don't get any of this. And you know what... I still pray, even though I'm not so sure anymore. I pray He'll give me a sign or something. What does He want from me?! I will do anything for some peace! But He won't show me.... I'm lost. And does it really count.... believing in God just cuz you're scared, just cuz you have to believe in something? I feel doomed no matter what. I just want the pain to stop. God... is that too much to ask?
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For me god is just the force that we all came from, that being all the intellgent and other beings in the universe with couciousness, even the universe itself, I don't believe that this god takes a form really, I belive it more like the taoist belief that everything came from one force or orginal point, anyway I think that the trational chrsitan belief that we go to hell for are sins is counterproducitve and just makes people more guilt ridden than they should be about their life, cos I mean some sins are fun and we should'nt all be hungup about whats going to happen in the next life because of my actions in this one etc etc. Also something thats always baffeled me about the story of creation is that no dinosurs were mentioned, I mean no one can posssibly dispute that dinosurs exsisted, yet still many people believe that we all came from 1 man and 1 women who lived in a big happy garden and then the nasty snake came along with knowledge (who wouldn't want knowledge?) and made us all sinful, It just sounds like the sort of story a five year old would make up. I mean I still repect whatever people want to believe but It doesn't mean I have to beleive it.
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peacedove said:
2012? Never heard that one before.

I'm still struggling with my God issues. I want to believe... Oh I'm just so confused, nevermind.
2012 is supposadlly according to the mayans the end of time/the start of a new cycle or whatever.

and also 2012 is the date for the end of time wave zero, a theroy of terrence mckennas


Novelty Theory has a few basic tenets:

That the universe is a living system with a teleological attractor at the end of time that drives the increase and conservation of complexity in material forms.
That novelty and complexity increase over time, despite repeated set-backs, in a process similar to punctuated equilibrium in biology.
That the human brain represents the pinnacle of complex organization in the known universe to date.
That fluctuations in novelty over time are self-similar at different scales. Thus the rise and fall of the Roman Empire might be resonant with the life of a family within a single generation, or with an individual's day at work.
That as the complexity and sophistication of human thought and culture increase, universal novelty approaches a Koch curve of infinite exponential growth.
That in the time immediately prior to, and during this omega point of infinite novelty, anything and everything conceivable to the human imagination will occur simultaneously.
That the date of this historical endpoint is December 21, 2012, the end of the long count of the Mayan calendar. (A less common interpretation puts the end date of the Mayan calendar at December 23, 2012, but McKenna used the more common solstice date.)
This End of History was to be the final manifestation of The Eschaton, which McKenna characterized as a sort of strange attractor towards which the evolution of the universe developed.

His predictions for this transcendent event were wide ranging and varied, depending on his audience. At times he conjectured that it would be the moment at which the mass of humanity would, by means of some technology, become mentally conjoined in a great collective. At others he speculated that this was to be the moment in which time travel became a reality. Another was the birth of self-conscious artificial intelligence. Another was a global UFO visitation. Occasionally he even expressed doubt as to whether anything at all would happen. However, McKenna claimed that there was no contradiction between these scenarios, as they might all happen simultaneously.

I don't subscribe to the whole 2012 legend, but still would be preety cool to witness the end of time.
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peacedove said:
I don't subscribe to the whole 2012 legend, but still would be preety cool to witness the end of time.
Oh my god are you serious? Just reading that almost put me in a panic attack. It's thoughts like those that caused my DP I think. (The end of time, infinity, etc.
Yeh, I wouldnt't really be bothered if time suppossadly ended in 2012.

Anyway it's just supposed to be a jump up to the 5th dimension or a new form of time or something, as I say I don't really know that much about it or believe.
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