[Guest]

has anyone had moments where they feel that reality is trying to break through, that their vision goes almost normal and their feelings come back, but then it goes away again a few seconds later?

I have a couple of times, its like i am testing to see if i can handle reality but obviously at that moment i wasn't ready to, so it went away again.

 

[nayashi]

that's how i've felt forever. it only lasts about 5 seconds, sometimes it feels AMAZING and sometimes it's so scary that i don't even know what to do.

it only happens 2-3 times a year for me.

 

[Guest]

I have them quite often actually. Thats why I still have this "hope" nonsense, because I still know what "real" is through these ephemeral glimpses. I've had glimpses into reality before DP though, and i've spoken about them with fellow adhders who have a certain dissociation themselves. I've had them all my life, its just now, they're a bit different.

 

[tori]

Hi Suzanne,

i've started having glimpses of reality too. Usually only for a split second then it dissapears. Last week i had about 5 minutes of clarity at night but when i woke in the morning dp was back. I told this to the psychologist i am seeing and she said that this shows that what we have is not a permenant thing that cannot be changed. We all have the ability to regain reality..i dont know how but maybe its a matter of time, effort and attitute. I was hoping that these glimpses of reality are maybe a sign that my dp may be going away gradually and hopefully soon it will just go..But who knows...Good Luck...

 

[Guest]

It is a wonderful feeling when it does happen, even for a few seconds. I think its the fear of the unknown e.g. being real again, which pushes it away. At that moment I feel so excited that maybe the excitement is too much to handle and feels similar to a panic attack so I push it away again.

But this is how reality comes back. In bits here and there.

I remember a few years ago I went abroad for a month. I got on the plain feeling fine and excited, but the whole journey I spoke to my brother and when I got off the plain I had DP/DR. It wasn't a severe as I have now, I could at least talk to people and live a normal life. Well 4 weeks later, a few days before I was coming home I was on a bus and I realised that the mountains looked real. Then slowly over the next few days reality came back.

2 years later I had just got engaged and I woke up with DR/DP. That was 7 years ago. This one is lasting a bit longer than I had hoped.

Suzanne

 

[Guest]

I think that happens to everyone, not just those that go de-per. Perhaps we just notice it more.

 

[Guest]

Hi you can call me ICE! About reality. When you finally recieve your reality, you'll know it's a highly pleasant experience. A lot of you are suffering from being alone and not connected to the World. But I'm sure that you all can be helped.

That's all for now, and I want to say thanks to you all.

ICE SNOWMAN

 

[Inflammed]

My DP/DR usually starts around 3pm, in the morning I'm 80 to 99% *normal*.

It goes on untill 5:00 pm or all the evening untill I fall asleep.

Funny no ?

Thats why I beleive MY DP/DR is really physical...it starts around 3:00pm, where almost everyone start feeling tired and hungry.
And it's quite different (better) during the week-end since I don't work so I'm less tired and more relax.

I had days that I was DP'ed all day long...some that I felt like I just never heard about DP and some days that all I wish is to die.

Some days I feel extremely solid on my feet, confident, proud and healthy...and BANG ! out of a sudden it strikes me like savage animal heading for the throath of it's victim...to paralyse to death.

But I don't really understan those of you who's saying to have that all day long...that seems almost impossible to me...caus when my DP/DR arrives...i can't do anything...(almost)
I can barely walk sometimes because of the numbness in legs and perceptual distortions...How can someone have that all day long ?

I mean that If I would feel all day long and everyday what I feel when I'm in DP/DR...Honestly I would kill myself without any hesitation.

Maybe it's all about the intensity...

 

[Guest]

Hi,

For me I THINK it last all day long, because my fear is there 24/7, and my memory of past attacks, so I feel like I have DR all day long. Maybe I don't have it all day long but I can't tell, because I live in extream anticipation and fear of all.

All I know is that I am extremelty obsessed, by all my fears, and I constantly try to see if I am ok, better, if I feel worse, and WHAT CAN I DO to make me feel happy. Because I am depressed and the most obsessed of the world about meds.

Cynthia xxx

 

[Guest]

This is for everyone but first paragraph is kind of for Cynthia - for the first few years when I had DP, I obsessed and the more I focused on my condition the more I fed what I call my Fear loop, It goes like this. You think how weird DP/DR is, it scares you and feeds your anxiety and depression leading to less sleep and more exhaustion and less brain energy to fight yourself. The next day you start over and you can really go into a tailspin. You essentially keep punching yourself in the nose by obsessing over a way to feel normal again ....but.... you end up doing the converse - you may actually be digging yourself deeper.

I know this is supposed to be a post about regaining reality so I'll get to that in a second. I'm finally at a place now where I'm so used to DP/DR that it no longer causes anxiety(15years - I know probably scares the newbies). Here is where it gets really weird. I'm so far away, in years, from the full and complete me that I'm losing some of the memory of what it felt like to be "me". As my memory has dwindled I guess I have adjusted to the new "half-me". But paradoxically this has benefits. I no longer fight the fear cycle so I can focus on letting down my guard and recently have caught brief glimpses of "reality". I'm hopeful that my brain is using avoidance behavior to protect me from the extreme anxiety and that has been keeping me in this DP cocoon for so long. In short now that there is no longer anxiety about my DP maybe I have a better shot.

Today I caught myself in what I think was the full me for 2 seconds. I think I had a real quick thought like "ohmygodthisisweird...shouldIfeelscared?" and then I snapped out like my brain was protecting me and reeling me back. I'm hoping next time I have a more mellow reaction that perhaps will allow the real me to saunter out for a bit longer.

Can anyone else relate to my weird explanation?

OH yeah - Cynthia to break the fear cycle is tough but you can do it. Meds that help are the run of the mill benzos that can help you in the short term while you get back on your feet. While on these its very important that you strenuously exercise - run, bike or swim and drive yourself to the point of physical exhaustion (even though you already probably feel exhausted when you start). This will burn off extra stress and lower your anxiety levels enough to get them manageable. Maybe it will allow you to sleep without taking those tranquilizer darts. Also, you have to teach yourself that DP/DR does not need to cause panic/anxiety - sounds simple but its an entirely personal quest. good luck everyone. Maybe one day there will be a snap your fingers cure and we can all have a huge party!!!!!