[Brainsilence02]

Usually my mind is boggy/swampy. Nothing is moving. Nothing is happening. Nothing is been heard. That's why my nickname (pen name) includes "silence".

Give me anything but the mind's standstill.

Madness? Yes, as long as it it does not involve standstill of my mind.

Loss of awareness? Yes, as long as it it does not involve standstill of my mind.

Confusion? Yes, as long as it it does not involve standstill of my mind.

Sadness? Yes, as long as it it does not involve standstill of my mind.

Depts? Yes, as long as it it does not involve standstill of my mind.

Dead end? Yes, as long as it it does not involve standstill of my mind.

Hapyness? Yes, as long as I don't feel guilty.

 

[Sojourner]

So why do you do it to yourself? :lol:

 

[jen]

brainsilence,

i can relate to that. i think that im just more prone to silence than most people and the social stigma against silence, the demand of "having something to say" causes alot of everyday anxiety for me. most of the time, when people ask me what im thinking or feeling, i have no idea what to say. not because im not thinking or feeling anything but because i start thinking about what im thinking and all the colors start to run together. also, i space out alot and i think its because of this.

 

[Scattered]

The difference, it seems, is that brain feel as if there is literally nothing going on in his mind. As if it is being still to the point of not operating at all.

I tend to feel the opposite way. There are always random and irrational ideas, fantasies, and thoughts racing through my head. Even when in life I feel as if I am at a "standstill" my brain creates its own meaningless distractions to keep me from understanding and reacting to my situation.

 

[jen]

yeah. i think what i meant was what i call 'meta-thinking' (thinking about thinking). i become so consumed by these thoughts that i am literally thinking about nothing. sometimes i feel like these thoughts "eat up" the other ones.
lol, or something.

 

[university girl]

I can definately relate...

 

[Guest]

I can relate entirely to what you are saying brain, I have this too, an ongoing sense of nothing, of being empty of thought or feeling or response, I have to force myself to do things like a robot - completely disconnected, that is how I feel a lot at the moment and I have had long episodes of this all the way through my life. I am just observing emptiness and everything around me doesn't feel quite there, me included. Horrible and sometimes unbearable. I have been out of this mindstate also for several months and it is really difficult for either state to imagine the other.....as has been commented elsewhere on this board it is such a fine line from dp/dr to the other side, but such a huge difference to one's experience.

Keep going b.s.

Sarah x

 

[Brainsilence02]

So why do you do it to yourself? :lol:

Do what to myself?

 

[Brainsilence02]

I can relate entirely to what you are saying brain, I have this too, an ongoing sense of nothing, of being empty of thought or feeling or response, I have to force myself to do things like a robot - completely disconnected, that is how I feel a lot at the moment and I have had long episodes of this all the way through my life. I am just observing emptiness and everything around me doesn't feel quite there, me included. Horrible and sometimes unbearable. I have been out of this mindstate also for several months and it is really difficult for either state to imagine the other.....as has been commented elsewhere on this board it is such a fine line from dp/dr to the other side, but such a huge difference to one's experience.

Motive is dead. No, that's not true, there are a few things (illusions mostly) that get me motivated to do things. Sometimes a threat gets me motivated. Sometimes it doesn't. It depends on how I take the threat.

I don't have this all the time. But.. I don't remember when I have this. Will I continue to notice when I have it, or will I lose even this luxury?

Is this part of DP/DR or is it something completely irrelevant?

Strangely enough, although there is no motive, I still feel (sometimes, not everytime) my personality existing in the background. I can still take decisions to change my opinions and improove myself. For instance: be more careful not dropping water on the floor (silly example, but you get the point). I don't know, maybe I am saying this because I am not in a standstill right now.

And, of cource, I am entirely disassociated when I tried to read again what I just wrong. Guess the various falws inside me are playing a game of Chess (or a game of cards).

Thank you all for posting.