Getting Worse

1886 Views 21 Replies 5 Participants Last post by Phill, Sep 1, 2005

peacedove

Discussion Starter · Aug 24, 2005

I don't think this is going to go away. I used to tell myself that I can know for sure I'll get better because there was a time I wasn't like this. So if I was normal once I can be normal again. But I haven't been normal in 17 yrs!!! The last time I was normal I was six! I don't even know if that was even me anymore. Maybe that small six-year window of normalcy is a figment of my imagination and this DP I've been living in for most of my life is actually reality. That would make more sense wouldn't it? I mean that is what I face everyday... that is my reality.

I don't even question things anymore. I'm just at work like yeah this is really scary. I feel like I'm on another planet. I want to die. But no, if I ignore it it will go away. I don't know who I am or what I am, but I don't care anymore. I've stopped fighting. I don't avoid things anymore, I face shit head on, but still the fear stays. I've improved in a lot of ways, but none of it matters cuz I still feel the same.

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Phill

· #9 · Aug 24, 2005

I think there comes a time where you have to accept things the way they are and make something from what you have left, as little as that may be.

I don't mean give up, but if you can, come to a place where life with dp/dr is bearable and where you can still get some sort of happiness or joy from something.
Don't see your life as a waste because surely you still have something
inside you to give.
I came to that place and it has helped tremendously.
And I know you have Faith, Peacedove,
so also think about eternity and look forward to being with God forever.

Just some thoughts.

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