Getting Used To It
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Now Da'Burgh, people reply to your post all the time. I thought they weren't replying to mine. :wink: We all get this feeling.
Okay, to give you my experience on your question...I've had it go away soon and I've tolerated it and it's been here way too long this time.
You just never know...it's such a bitch of a disorder.
Sorry I couldn't be more black and white. I don't think anyone can.
Okay, to give you my experience on your question...I've had it go away soon and I've tolerated it and it's been here way too long this time.
You just never know...it's such a bitch of a disorder.
Sorry I couldn't be more black and white. I don't think anyone can.
I'm trying to get to the point where I can tolerate it and don't go into fits of panic, introspection, or obsession. Although I'm not where you are right now I think the only way to be free of DP, once its tolerable, is to simply not think of it anymore. Try to be grateful that you no longer have that feeling of impending insanity. Accept where you are right now in your life and part ways with any thoughts about DP. Don't ask if you have it, how bad it is, or when its going to go away. Try to not even think of the word "depersonalization." Move ahead in your life and try to always be positive, while never thinking back to this disorder and all the "what if's?" that accompany it.
I hope that someone who was once where Da Burgh was and moved beyond it can offer more details.
Good luck.
I hope that someone who was once where Da Burgh was and moved beyond it can offer more details.
Good luck.
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It's funny, cuz there have been times in my life that I've felt free of it for a few months or so. And I know at those times the reason I feel better is that I'm not focused on it (well, I just realized it was depersonalization a few months ago, before that I just knew there was something wrong, and depression didn't cover it).
Any way, I know mentally that not focusing on it is the cure, and yet I don't know how to not.
Anyone else got a clue?
Any way, I know mentally that not focusing on it is the cure, and yet I don't know how to not.
Anyone else got a clue?
Are you all in psychotherapy? What you need is to get at what's causing your stress to begin with. You will probably never remove the symptom if you don't deal with what your unconscious mind it trying to tell you.
The following is addressed only to those who are not in psychodynamic or psychoanalytical therapy:
If you're holding in feelings, if you're angry and someone and choose not to express it to them, if you're regretting something you did in the past, if you have old pain that you've repressed, feelings of negativity, and so forth, the next time they force your body to try to save you, you may, instead of DP/DR, get a rotten immune system, a heart attack, ulcers, or you may just snap straight into insanity.
Please don't yell at me for trying to scare you. I *am* trying to scare you. If you find a way to get rid of the symptom, which is ALL this is, you are going to suffer tremendously down the road with severe problems that will debilitate you.
So, I am begging you, if you're not in psychotherapy, get into it. Let the poison that is in you -- the source of the symptoms -- come out of you. If you don't, you will get sicker and sicker and sicker.
Listen to your body. Psychosomatic complaints are ALWAYS about what's bothering us.
Now if you're scared of doing inner work, don't be. The relief can be immediate -- and I mean IMMEDIATE. You'll be sitting there crying at your therapist's office (I agree with Janine that for this, the best psychotherapy is psychodynamic, not cognitive) and you'll be hating how you feel and how you hurt, but you will all of a sudden feel something happen. You will feel rejuvenated and free. Bit by bit, you deal with the hurts that you've buried (we all do it, so I mean the generic "you"). Even the very first time you dip into the pain, even if you cry just a little, you will feel some relief.
Unless you address the cause of the stress, you cannot possibly ever recover from DP/DR. You will get sicker and sicker, as I described above, with other maladies, some of which may in fact kill you.
This diatribe has been addressed to those of you who are NOT in psychodynamic or psychoanalytical therapy now. What you do NOT need is behavioral therapy, because that will not help you access the source of the problem.
The following is addressed only to those who are not in psychodynamic or psychoanalytical therapy:
If you're holding in feelings, if you're angry and someone and choose not to express it to them, if you're regretting something you did in the past, if you have old pain that you've repressed, feelings of negativity, and so forth, the next time they force your body to try to save you, you may, instead of DP/DR, get a rotten immune system, a heart attack, ulcers, or you may just snap straight into insanity.
Please don't yell at me for trying to scare you. I *am* trying to scare you. If you find a way to get rid of the symptom, which is ALL this is, you are going to suffer tremendously down the road with severe problems that will debilitate you.
So, I am begging you, if you're not in psychotherapy, get into it. Let the poison that is in you -- the source of the symptoms -- come out of you. If you don't, you will get sicker and sicker and sicker.
Listen to your body. Psychosomatic complaints are ALWAYS about what's bothering us.
Now if you're scared of doing inner work, don't be. The relief can be immediate -- and I mean IMMEDIATE. You'll be sitting there crying at your therapist's office (I agree with Janine that for this, the best psychotherapy is psychodynamic, not cognitive) and you'll be hating how you feel and how you hurt, but you will all of a sudden feel something happen. You will feel rejuvenated and free. Bit by bit, you deal with the hurts that you've buried (we all do it, so I mean the generic "you"). Even the very first time you dip into the pain, even if you cry just a little, you will feel some relief.
Unless you address the cause of the stress, you cannot possibly ever recover from DP/DR. You will get sicker and sicker, as I described above, with other maladies, some of which may in fact kill you.
This diatribe has been addressed to those of you who are NOT in psychodynamic or psychoanalytical therapy now. What you do NOT need is behavioral therapy, because that will not help you access the source of the problem.
You know what? That was the most horrible reply I've ever heard in my life. And it doesn't surprise me. Your replies are always negative. The thing that has bothered me to the point of DP/DR is the fact I believed I was dying or was becoming insane from a drug. That's really all. I know now that I'm not going crazy - and guess what? - My DP/DR is going away! Imagine that. I'm not afraid to express what is wrong with me or what I feel. I tell people how I feel about them. I'm not reserved. I'm so NOT reserved that I feel like people are tired of HEARING ME COMPLAIN ABOUT MY PROBLEMS. Sojourner, do me a favor and stop trying to scare the shit out of me. Your pissing me off.
A reply from Janine would really help me here.......
A reply from Janine would really help me here.......
I'm sorry that you feel I was being negative. It's clear you didn't understand my main message.
I told you I was trying to scare you. And I'm very glad you're pissed at me. I'm telling you the truth, and I would suspect that Janine might do it a little more gently but basicaly agree.
It's a psychosomatic disease. It's not a real symptom of illness.
You may be slightly annoyed with me on the surface now, but that still doesn't get at what's really bothering you.
It's good you can get mad at me, though; you should be an excellent person to get therapy.
And if you are just going to jump up and down and say how mad you are without addressing any of the points I made, then that's your choice.
My intent was to help everyone. I hope there are some who can see the truth of what I say, but I am very sorry that you refuse to even consider it.
Also, I don't care if you are mad at me. You know what I have said has been for your own good.
I can only read so many posts about using alcohol to get rid of DP/DR as unfortunate, misguided, and dangerous advice before I have to speak up.
I can only read so many posts about "I want it to go" before I answer one or two or three of those pleas for help.
If you don't want help from anyone, don't cry out for it.
But use your brain! This illness is PSYCHOSOMATIC. Read the second definition below.
Main Entry: psy?cho?so?mat?ic
Pronunciation: -s&-'ma-tik
Function: adjective
Etymology: International Scientific Vocabulary
1 : of, relating to, concerned with, or involving both mind and body <the psychosomatic nature of man -- Herbert Ratner>
2 : of, relating to, involving, or concerned with bodily symptoms caused by mental or emotional disturbance <psychosomatic illness>
<psychosomatic medicine>
- psy?cho?so?mat?i?cal?ly /-ti-k(&-)lE/ adverb
I didn't have to spend the time writing all these posts. I did it because I care about you all and I know the fear Milan and Bright and others have described.
I told you I was trying to scare you. And I'm very glad you're pissed at me. I'm telling you the truth, and I would suspect that Janine might do it a little more gently but basicaly agree.
It's a psychosomatic disease. It's not a real symptom of illness.
You may be slightly annoyed with me on the surface now, but that still doesn't get at what's really bothering you.
It's good you can get mad at me, though; you should be an excellent person to get therapy.
And if you are just going to jump up and down and say how mad you are without addressing any of the points I made, then that's your choice.
My intent was to help everyone. I hope there are some who can see the truth of what I say, but I am very sorry that you refuse to even consider it.
Also, I don't care if you are mad at me. You know what I have said has been for your own good.
I can only read so many posts about using alcohol to get rid of DP/DR as unfortunate, misguided, and dangerous advice before I have to speak up.
I can only read so many posts about "I want it to go" before I answer one or two or three of those pleas for help.
If you don't want help from anyone, don't cry out for it.
But use your brain! This illness is PSYCHOSOMATIC. Read the second definition below.
Main Entry: psy?cho?so?mat?ic
Pronunciation: -s&-'ma-tik
Function: adjective
Etymology: International Scientific Vocabulary
1 : of, relating to, concerned with, or involving both mind and body <the psychosomatic nature of man -- Herbert Ratner>
2 : of, relating to, involving, or concerned with bodily symptoms caused by mental or emotional disturbance <psychosomatic illness>
<psychosomatic medicine>
- psy?cho?so?mat?i?cal?ly /-ti-k(&-)lE/ adverb
I didn't have to spend the time writing all these posts. I did it because I care about you all and I know the fear Milan and Bright and others have described.
I was responding to your statement that began this thread:
Lately, it's like I'm almost used to having DP. It really doesn't scare me unless it becomes intense quickly. I was wondering if this is a sign that it's gonna be gone soon or will I just tolorate this and it'll be here forever?
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Funny, but I don't see anything in that that would lead me to believe what you wrote about it going away.
But I understand why you said it, I think; it's a defense against hearing one person's opinion.
Well, I have said all I will say about it. I said it on several threads, and that might be enough.
I hope you get better! But if I were you, I would check out the nature of psychosomatic illness and how it progresses.
Lately, it's like I'm almost used to having DP. It really doesn't scare me unless it becomes intense quickly. I was wondering if this is a sign that it's gonna be gone soon or will I just tolorate this and it'll be here forever?
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Funny, but I don't see anything in that that would lead me to believe what you wrote about it going away.
But I understand why you said it, I think; it's a defense against hearing one person's opinion.
Well, I have said all I will say about it. I said it on several threads, and that might be enough.
I hope you get better! But if I were you, I would check out the nature of psychosomatic illness and how it progresses.
Sojourner ? I hear what you're saying, I understand it, but scaring already anxious people with the image of physical death is a little over the top. Too dramatic. But it can get some genuine emotions going, so that's always positive with us emotionally clammed up DP/DRrs
Again, I agree with you in your intention, but method is important too.
"What you do NOT need is behavioral therapy, because that will not help you access the source of the problem."
I recovered with seven years of cognitive-behavioral therapy. So, to say the least, I completely disagree with you.
I think any type of talk therapy is better than no talk therapy. Some are better suited to certain personality types, and perhaps some are better suited to different conditions. I can't imagine what my recovery would have been like if I'd used psychodynamic or psychoanalytic therapy - who knows, perhaps I'd have recovered sooner. But I can't think like that, because that is looking backwards, and its thinking in the NEGATIVE as opposed to the POSITIVE.
I do agree that anyone here that is undergoing DP/DR would have an easier time if they were in some form of talk therapy, if only because the nature of the disease makes one feel extremely isolated and alone in their experience, and talking with a professional can alleviate that stress.
Again, I agree with you in your intention, but method is important too.
"What you do NOT need is behavioral therapy, because that will not help you access the source of the problem."
I recovered with seven years of cognitive-behavioral therapy. So, to say the least, I completely disagree with you.
I think any type of talk therapy is better than no talk therapy. Some are better suited to certain personality types, and perhaps some are better suited to different conditions. I can't imagine what my recovery would have been like if I'd used psychodynamic or psychoanalytic therapy - who knows, perhaps I'd have recovered sooner. But I can't think like that, because that is looking backwards, and its thinking in the NEGATIVE as opposed to the POSITIVE.
I do agree that anyone here that is undergoing DP/DR would have an easier time if they were in some form of talk therapy, if only because the nature of the disease makes one feel extremely isolated and alone in their experience, and talking with a professional can alleviate that stress.
The fear of panic or DP/DR is just that -- the fear of death. My suggestion that ignoring the cause of the psychosomatic symptoms could kill them is a fact that they need to know. So I didn't feel I was laying any new "fear" on them.
Yes, my method was not oblique, but I didn't want it to be just a suggestion.
It's the same approach to alcoholism. You tell the person that he is going to die unless he stops drinking. You scare him.
If you're in constant DP/DR, you are not thinking normally, so I used an approach that I hoped would evoke an emotional response of some sort.
What motivated me to write those posts was my observation that people were thinking in terms of living with it, adjusting to it, and so forth, and I felt it my duty as a human being to tell them that is impossible with psychosomatic illness. It *will* get worse and worse and it CAN kill.
But if people object to my speech, I don't have to stay here.
Yes, my method was not oblique, but I didn't want it to be just a suggestion.
It's the same approach to alcoholism. You tell the person that he is going to die unless he stops drinking. You scare him.
If you're in constant DP/DR, you are not thinking normally, so I used an approach that I hoped would evoke an emotional response of some sort.
What motivated me to write those posts was my observation that people were thinking in terms of living with it, adjusting to it, and so forth, and I felt it my duty as a human being to tell them that is impossible with psychosomatic illness. It *will* get worse and worse and it CAN kill.
But if people object to my speech, I don't have to stay here.
I think the point of this website is that not enough is really known and fully documented about DP/DR. Researches (the handful that exist) and sufferers are stumbling around in the dark on this one. Even getting an agreement on terminology seems exceedingly difficult. It appears to me there's a whole host of individualistic symptoms that people are loosely relating under the DP flag. There's no guidebook.
So when you begin an argument with "I'm telling you the truth..." I think people can't help but get offended. Truth?
What did Pontius say 2000 years ago "What is truth?" ...come on, any biblical scholars out there?
I personally don't object to your speech, we could always use a little fire for the emotions. I liked Dreamland's thread a while back even though it offended a lot of people.
Peace
So when you begin an argument with "I'm telling you the truth..." I think people can't help but get offended. Truth?
What did Pontius say 2000 years ago "What is truth?" ...come on, any biblical scholars out there?
I personally don't object to your speech, we could always use a little fire for the emotions. I liked Dreamland's thread a while back even though it offended a lot of people.
Peace
In my life right now that was the last thing I needed to hear. I felt like I only had one thing in my life left and she's been involuntarely taken away from me. My DP is through the roof, I'm depressed to no end, and I've contemplated suicide. The only thing Sojourner and her negative post was doing was making me think that I relly have a lot less to live for. I was doing great with my DP and now it feels like I've been plummeted back down to the depths. All I can say is fuck off, bad timing.
Read Janine's post on the unconscious and you will find out that while I may be clumsy, I am saying the same thing.
Finding out why we do this to ourselves is the only answer.
You will recover, I know, because like all of us, you are strong.
I do understand your anger at me, but please know that I am trying to help you, not hurt you.
I was where you are for 24 hours on Sunday. I know the agony.
I'm sorry if my timing was bad and that you feel I injured you. My wish right now would be to hold you in my arms and tell you that it will be all right.
I hope someday you will know that I am really your friend. I would not be a friend to you if I didn't say that I believe we have to find out why we do this to ourselves --- I urge you to look for Janine's post of today.
Wishing you peace, Da'Burgh.
Finding out why we do this to ourselves is the only answer.
You will recover, I know, because like all of us, you are strong.
I do understand your anger at me, but please know that I am trying to help you, not hurt you.
I was where you are for 24 hours on Sunday. I know the agony.
I'm sorry if my timing was bad and that you feel I injured you. My wish right now would be to hold you in my arms and tell you that it will be all right.
I hope someday you will know that I am really your friend. I would not be a friend to you if I didn't say that I believe we have to find out why we do this to ourselves --- I urge you to look for Janine's post of today.
Wishing you peace, Da'Burgh.
G
Guest
·The truth is though, you just can't tell people they are "doing it to themselves" without invoking all kinds of anger and defensiveness. In the WIDEST definition of "self-doing" then yes, we may, many of us, me included be inadvertently bringing this dp hell on ourselves. But the CONNOTATION has a very aggressive sound to it and it always will be received that way. I am NOT saying, Sojourner, that you meant it that way - just pointing out that we can't say "but I only intended to be helpful" and expect that to change the reader's reaction.
Humans get GOOFY if they're told directly that they are causing their own symptoms, lol...(even when we are!)
None of us intentionally wants to feel dp'd. But the way the mind can work, for SOME of us, not all...is that we might be scaring ourselves into such mayhem and backing ourselves into such tight little corners of thinking-navigating room that the only thing LEFT to feel is "not real." In that sense, we may be creating the disturbance.
But the symptoms are born, even if TOTALLY psychological in origin, from a veryyyy intricate web of mental mechanisms...nobody can just talk themselves OUT of DP or tell themselves to GET OVER IT or anything remotely like that. When I encourage you to focus outward and distract yourself, that is a TOOL to help you get a few feet back to reality, not some magical cure-all.
And the Work, the therapy work, gets done in periods of relative tranquility, not during the chaos. All we can do when we're afraid we're going insane is to stay as calm as possible and try to swim back to shore. NOBODY in that condition is going to allow his/her mind to explore deep caverns of thoughts and feelings. No way. When you feel terrible, time to limp back to shore.
When you are finally feeling a bit stronger, that is when you get the search light and go down the cave. Sadly, that's when most people say "oh, I'm better now..." and they go have a beer and pretend their breakdown never happened. Till the remission.
Humans get GOOFY if they're told directly that they are causing their own symptoms, lol...(even when we are!)
None of us intentionally wants to feel dp'd. But the way the mind can work, for SOME of us, not all...is that we might be scaring ourselves into such mayhem and backing ourselves into such tight little corners of thinking-navigating room that the only thing LEFT to feel is "not real." In that sense, we may be creating the disturbance.
But the symptoms are born, even if TOTALLY psychological in origin, from a veryyyy intricate web of mental mechanisms...nobody can just talk themselves OUT of DP or tell themselves to GET OVER IT or anything remotely like that. When I encourage you to focus outward and distract yourself, that is a TOOL to help you get a few feet back to reality, not some magical cure-all.
And the Work, the therapy work, gets done in periods of relative tranquility, not during the chaos. All we can do when we're afraid we're going insane is to stay as calm as possible and try to swim back to shore. NOBODY in that condition is going to allow his/her mind to explore deep caverns of thoughts and feelings. No way. When you feel terrible, time to limp back to shore.
When you are finally feeling a bit stronger, that is when you get the search light and go down the cave. Sadly, that's when most people say "oh, I'm better now..." and they go have a beer and pretend their breakdown never happened. Till the remission.
Da'Burgh - I know sometimes delivery can be taken out of context...by reading all of SoJourner's posts, I don't think he meant any harm.
As for your original post, I believe a mind adapts to your perceptions. And, if your perception is that you are getting better, keep giving your brain that food.
This disorder is something YOU CAN CONQUER...I am on 4 weeks of DP/DR free after 3 months (24/7) of a hellish relapse.
As for your original post, I believe a mind adapts to your perceptions. And, if your perception is that you are getting better, keep giving your brain that food.
This disorder is something YOU CAN CONQUER...I am on 4 weeks of DP/DR free after 3 months (24/7) of a hellish relapse.
I'm a female, by the way. ; )
I definitely need to work on my approach.
I am troubled that people think they have to live with anxiety and panic and DP/DR and fear. It makes me angry that people are trying to adjust to living with such intolerable symptoms without trying all of the methods for healing.
That's what was in my heart. I used exaggeration as a rhetorical device to shock because it seemed to me that the same type of intervention that people use with alcoholics and anorexics is what was needed.
I agree entirely with Janine, and I don't think anyone should settle for not having their symptoms removed via drugs. You cannot look at your interior landscape when you have active anxiety or DP. I certainly didn't mean going to therapy in that shape. I didn't make myself clear because I was entirely too emotional.
For those I've annoyed, I am sorry. But even if my delivery was clumsy and what some consider too harsh, please see the intent behind it.
That people want to accept this satanic suffering just blows my mind. I want to shake you and say, "No!!! You do not accept distorted perception as your 'sentence' in life."
I definitely need to work on my approach.
I am troubled that people think they have to live with anxiety and panic and DP/DR and fear. It makes me angry that people are trying to adjust to living with such intolerable symptoms without trying all of the methods for healing.
That's what was in my heart. I used exaggeration as a rhetorical device to shock because it seemed to me that the same type of intervention that people use with alcoholics and anorexics is what was needed.
I agree entirely with Janine, and I don't think anyone should settle for not having their symptoms removed via drugs. You cannot look at your interior landscape when you have active anxiety or DP. I certainly didn't mean going to therapy in that shape. I didn't make myself clear because I was entirely too emotional.
For those I've annoyed, I am sorry. But even if my delivery was clumsy and what some consider too harsh, please see the intent behind it.
That people want to accept this satanic suffering just blows my mind. I want to shake you and say, "No!!! You do not accept distorted perception as your 'sentence' in life."
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