[university girl]

Hey all...

Sometimes I think I am at the point where I have accepted what happened to me and am ready to move on.... but it seems as though I can't let go of it. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself (probably) but I just can't seem to get over the intense fright and loneliness I endured for such a long time. I was so young, fragile, innocent... and alone. Even one person to be really there for me would have made worlds of a difference. I don't know how to let go of it. Maybe I'm scared to do this? I'm not sure. Any suggestions?

 

[Guest]

maybe you are too afraid to let go of it?? do yuo normally have trouble lettng go of other things? [/i]do yu normally have trouble letting go of other situations?it could be that you are almost to the finish line-- and you are out of your comfort zone..........after all- what happens when there is no more dp etc etc for us to talk about-- that is all you have felt for awhile..! i dont know if that helps-- but try not to be "afraid" to let go of it...after all we have all made depression our "pet "for so long!!

 

[university girl]

It could be true... but i'm not sure. I can't connect to that idea (cause I'm DP'd? ) Other situations? Hmmmmm.... lemme think... parents divorce? Nope. Leaving school? A bit difficult. Saying goodbye to ex boyfriends? Sometimes difficult. I don't think I am abnormal about letting go of things... only this maybe because it's been half of my life almost (like you said). I just feel like there's something I have to get out of my system... maybe I need to make people understand what I have been through (impossible) or something. I'm not sure. I always felt like I got hardly any sympathy from family or friends (heck, I WAS alone)... maybe that's what is so hard to let go of. And yes, a part of me can see why it would be so difficult for them to give me the sympathy. Maybe that's what it is... maybe I need to forgive them.

 

[Guest]

maybe instead, you need to forgive yourself.

 

[g-funk]

Hit the nail on the head sc!

I think you maybe angry at yourself for 'letting' yourself get like this. I think that what keeps a lot of us dp'd is that we believe there must be a reason for it, that we must try and work our way out of it, believing it may be serving a purpose. There may very well be a reason for it, but, it is just a symptom, a self perpetuating one, that we try to figure out in all the wrong ways. As soon as we feel we are getting better a part of us believes we may not deserve it, otherwise why would we get like it in the first place right? Wrong, because we wouldn't keep picking a scab because we felt we deserved the wound. It just so happens that the nature of dp makes us feel as though we should explore our symptoms in order to get better.

You deserve to feel better. Go for it.
Gx

 

[g-funk]

Another thing, I think dp causes us to be retrospective, because previous to our slide into it, we all felt 'fine'. So, instead of looking for a way out, a way to get better, we look back to when we felt ok, hankering after our old selves, instead of looking forward to who we could become. And that is someone who has been through some shit, but is all the stronger for it, and hopefully learnt something about themselves.

 

[Guest]

universitygirl,

Just make sure that you are truely letting go of it, and not just putting it in a closet. I've been dealing with this since my second year of university (cause being a pot induced panic attack) and while I've come to some sort of acceptance that I won't ever be quite the same person, be careful not to start pretending like it never happened. I graduated from university last spring so if you need any advice or tips on how to get by with things feel free to message me.

Thanks,

andrew

 

[Guest]

i agree with sc-- forgive yourself as well..that is rarely ever done.....

 

[Guest]

Uni-g.

I used to thinkabout how things could've been different all the time. Like if my mom and sister hadn't harrassed me psychologically and instead tried to understand more, and if my dad had been there to talk to me instead of never ever being home and having an affair with some woman 350 miles away. You just don't ever expect such awful stuff to happen to you and you know that you of all people don't deserve it, because you wouldn't hurt a fly.

It's tough to get over, but if you want to be happy, you're going to have to forgive. "what is forgiveness? it's just a dream. what is forgiveness? it's everything." I suppose you don't have to forget necessarily, but it all depends on how you want to live your life. If you want to hold on to that hurt and pain, it's natural to want to. Because you want that pain and sadness and crap validated. You want someone to recognize it and extend a hand and tell you how badly you were treated. As much as I tried, I never really got it from anyone. No one would admit they made a mistake. But that's what therapists are good for I guess. They'll give that to you. And if you're lucky enough to find a good one, they'll even mean it when they say it.

Hope that helps. Pigasus