Hi everyone. I just wanted to check in and maybe give someone some hope. January through April was the most challenging and terrifying moment of my life thus far. My derealization and dissociation took over me and wouldn't go away no matter how much a prayed, what kind of medication combination I took, and what kind of coping mechanisms I tried. But slowly overtime I started to not only come out of it little by little, but I also adapted. Although 2017 started out extremely scary and lonely for me, it has actually turned out the be the best year of my life. I went to college for the first time, I became closer with my sister, I did fun stuff this summer, my self esteem, grew, I quit smoking cigarettes, I reached 3 years clean and sober, I became vegan, I got to know myself better, and most importantly I realized how strong and resilient I am. I don't say any of this to brag whatsoever. I just hope that maybe someone reading this will see the bright light at the end of the tunnel. I thought I was doomed. I was constantly not okay, I cried almost every day for like 3 months. And although I am not even close to all the way better, I am functioning so so so much better. I quit my job because of this. I wasn't able to even go to the grocery store or almost anyplace in public for a few months. I still have a moment or two a day where I panic for a minute or a bad day once in a while, but I'll take this over the old stuff any day. Don't lose hope, believe in yourself. You may not get better immediately but either you will get better or you will adapt to this problem like I did. You are stronger than you think. Ask for help and just try and have faith that things will work out.