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90 Posts
Hi,
Over the last 20 years, I have been through derealization and depersonalization (and worse) several times -- sometimes even voluntarily induced -- and gained a lot of insight into it, which it is my purpose here to share with others.
The first time I experienced derealization, I couldn't even find the name for it, let alone a fellow sufferer or community. For all I knew I was the first to suffer it. It was a lonely time.
My DPDR was usually induced by thought - mostly triggering philosophical contemplation. From my late teens and throughout my twenties, I was obsessed with philosophy, particularly existentialism, eastern philosophy and the notion of Buddhist liberation; so much so, that even derealization did not discourage me for long from my pursuit of truth.
On one occasion it was triggered by stress, and a couple of times with no apparent cause.
Now I'm more fascinated by the state than fearful of it. And in retrospect, the medium- and long-term effects of derealization on my life have always been profoundly positive and transformative.
In addition to this, I have moderately bad tinnitus and visual snow, which I have had from my earliest memories (at least age 5). 99.9 percent of the time I'm as oblivious to this "neurological noise" as the nose on my face. I think of it like a hypersensitivity in my brain, since my visual and auditory acuity are not in the least diminished, and in fact seemingly the contrary. The capacity of the human brain to filter out and adapt to this kind of thing never ceases to amaze me.
I will post when I can, but anyone should feel free to PM me!
- Richard
Over the last 20 years, I have been through derealization and depersonalization (and worse) several times -- sometimes even voluntarily induced -- and gained a lot of insight into it, which it is my purpose here to share with others.
The first time I experienced derealization, I couldn't even find the name for it, let alone a fellow sufferer or community. For all I knew I was the first to suffer it. It was a lonely time.
My DPDR was usually induced by thought - mostly triggering philosophical contemplation. From my late teens and throughout my twenties, I was obsessed with philosophy, particularly existentialism, eastern philosophy and the notion of Buddhist liberation; so much so, that even derealization did not discourage me for long from my pursuit of truth.
On one occasion it was triggered by stress, and a couple of times with no apparent cause.
Now I'm more fascinated by the state than fearful of it. And in retrospect, the medium- and long-term effects of derealization on my life have always been profoundly positive and transformative.
In addition to this, I have moderately bad tinnitus and visual snow, which I have had from my earliest memories (at least age 5). 99.9 percent of the time I'm as oblivious to this "neurological noise" as the nose on my face. I think of it like a hypersensitivity in my brain, since my visual and auditory acuity are not in the least diminished, and in fact seemingly the contrary. The capacity of the human brain to filter out and adapt to this kind of thing never ceases to amaze me.
I will post when I can, but anyone should feel free to PM me!
- Richard