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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited by Moderator)
Hi,
I have had permanent dissociation for about three years. It started after I drank too much and smoked too much one night. Not once has the dissociation let up, but rather it takes these "jumps" where it gets permanently worse. These jumps are usually the result of this miserable fugue like state that lasts for usually about 3-7 days. During these states I can logically reason and remember my name and stuff, but beyond that everything on a more physical level is very confusing. It's like my brain can't catch up to itself, like all the wires got crossed. It is absolutely miserable and indescribable, especially since its more of a state of consciousness as opposed to a feeling. I have had psychiatric problems and this feels like a whole different ballpark. I was wondering if anyone has any ideas what this state could be, and why it results in a permanently reduced state of awareness.

For things I've tried:
CBT
TMS
Neurofeedback
AlphaStim
2 Inpatient Programs
Every atypical antipsychotic known to man.
Lamictal
Naltrexone
Xanax/Ativan/Klonopin
Adderall/Vyvanse
Pramipexole
Lexapro
Gabapentin
Probably other things I'm forgetting.

Nothing has worked. Any ideas? I am miserable
 

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Hello, pokemon :) I've definitely experienced the same thing though I don't have enough information to know if the issues I've had were exactly the same; for me it felt like being stoned, except that it was the opposite of helpful or relaxing and I felt completely incapable of seeing anything as real, and I definitely had some serious memory issues to the point that my short-term memory was almost non-existence and I had trouble completing sentences but could still reason logically with frequent pauses to try to remember my train of thought. I also get that being-stoned feeling a lot when I'm just dissociating in general even though I haven't had any kind of drugs at all in ages.

If I had a cure I wouldn't be here; this is my catharsis for now since therapy was also extremely unhelpful for me and DPDR tends to be highly treatment resistant compared to most other disorders. One other person here suggested EMDR and I've read that transcranial magnetic stimulation has like a 50% success rate but I think that might be expensive?

For me personally focusing on physical reality, or whatever engaging task I can manage to focus on in the moment, or else just distracting myself and spending time with real people esp. ones I'm close to really helps with symptom management, but I still get floored and overwhelmed by my own brain and the world around me a lot. Sorry I don't have anything else to offer :/ I really don't think there are any easy solutions for a lot of people with these issues.
 
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