I had DR back in 2012 when I smoked pot. Had a horrible panic attack and then struggled with the sensation for like weeks. Then it went away a week later. Then i induced the feeling again driving home from school because i "zoned out" while driving. From there it took like 4-5 months to get it to go away. I still managed to go to school I just felt horrible panicky all the time. I managed to graduate high school. I got through the experience and went to college. The DP/DR was there all the time but faded to the point where I would go weeks without even thinking about it. I wasn't always happy but I was motivated again and doing fine in life. However my sophomore year problems appeared again. I was bodybuilding in college and would often eat a lot of food before bed to bulk. One night I ate a [email protected] sandwich and had horrible stomach cramps falling asleep. From there I became panicked that I had IBS and suddenly all my appetite and energy was gone for like a month. I was bed ridden and didn't eat. I lost a ton of weight. I figured I had beaten DP/DR in my mind 2 years ago but was now confined to a bed since my body had failed me. Slowly over time I managed to come back to myself. I graduated college and have been living at home for two years. I got my grades up with postbacc work, I was working and making some money online with a business. I had two really good friends with me home as well. I was stressed out but feeling really good most of the time. Excited about my future. I had "beaten" both DP/DR and some wierd health anxiety induced episode. Looking back they both sound stupid to me. Unfortunately, I took a train to Florida for a PA school interview and felt really anxious in the hotel room by myself the night before the interview. Slowly over the following few days since being home I have entered a horrible DP/DR state that is twice as worse as the first time. The first time I learned that it was caused by anxiety and i stopped resisting it. However, since my initial anxiety in the hotel room which triggered the onset of the disorder again I feel completely dead. in the span of like 2 days i lost all appetite, i lost my will to make music, i suddenly did not care at all about going to grad school. I am completely and utterly numb which is even worse than my first DP/DR episode. I have zero hope this time around. I hate how this always happens when I need to be at my best. But this is truly horrible. I have no reaction to anything. My libido is gone, I can't feel warm at all even under like 4 blankets. I have a completely blank mind and i can only sleep a few hours at a time and only enter stage 1 sleep. This condition is torture. I learned from my first episode to take care of myself and I did. After my anxious event in college i took care of my body. Since being home I was the happiest and healthiest I have ever been. The one event of going down to FL for an interview has ruined my life and also my families lives because they care about me so much. I was fucking normal for 2 years. I havent even been on this board since 2012. How can I get out of it again? please help me. I dont even have the existential fears or thoughts at all anymore, I dont even give a fuck enough about that to worry. In the span of a few days I have lost everything that I built.