[Valoriz]

Hello,

I've been reading in the forum for a few weeks now, I have a friend of mine who was diagnosed with DP/DR earlier this year. She's a good friend, she genuinely cares and her struggles are on par with what most of the experiences I've read on here. She has me in a weird position, where she wants to be friends but has asked and has done things that are what I consider outside of a friendship and more of a relationship, she talks about not feeling like she would every want exclusivity and stated she doesn't want to date. I just want some experiences from those who suffer from this. Have you felt the same way? Or is this just a unique perk to her.

Appreciate any insight!

 

[Bree123]

Well I know a lot of people on here have said they aren't comfortable with the idea of being in a romantic relationship while they are dealing with dpdr. It's really hard when you don't think that you or anyone around you is real to establish new relationships. It's hard to explain to a person that doesn't have dpdr, but I think others can agree. Really with any mental disorder (anxiety, eating disorders, stuff like that) it's difficult to make friends or have a relationship, since your brain is often just focused on the internal and worrying about various things. I know in my many years of mental struggle I haven't been interested in making friends/romantic partners. I guess my brain was just focused on other things.

Now I don't know what she has asked/done, but sometimes when you are struggling you need someone to support and help you, and it might get kind of personal, if that makes sense. It's happened to me before. So I say don't push her into dating you, let her deal with this dpdr and maybe one day she will feel ready to date. If things get too 'weird' then just bring it up in a friendly way and talk to her about how you are feeling confused. Hey, it happens to everyone! Dpdr is awful, and as with any mental disorder, it can make you do some weird things haha.

Anyways I feel like that was just a lot of random stuff. Hope it helps! ????

 

[Valoriz]

I appreciate the feedback. I told her and feel comfrtable with things just running their course naturally. As someone who has suffered with depression for many years I find that I value connections more so in my recovery, I'm happy to help her, I juse sometimes feel like I'm being used. But that's okay.

 

[Phantasm]

I think if you're being there for her with an eye on a possible romantic relationship in the future you're likely to get hurt. When we have mental health issues we can feel a heightened need for human connection, while also being afraid of it. Like Bree123 said, things can get personal, but anything you do for her I would try to be clear with yourself it's just as a friend. It's possible she might want more in the future, but she also might just get on with her life, so I'd be careful of your feelings.