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Okay I think the root of a lot of my stress and problems result around free will. I’ve been obsessing over the idea of control and free will. Like when I do something I wonder am I doing this because I want to do this or do do these things because programming and determinism. See the issues around Fate and religion don’t thrill me as much as the idea of my own self control does. It’s almost like I have no reason to question those things if I can’t control or dictate things myself and it’s all programmed in my head. Like when thoughts pop up I lose hope because the fact they just happen and I have no control. I think the simple fact of being aware of this is what brings depression and anxiety to me realizing that in truth soooo many things are out of our control. I just wonder when I think and speak if they are my thoughts and what I wanna say or just automatic responses from my brain. Any responses? Any relations?
 

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When anxiety is peaking and I am more concerned with the outcome of my words/thoughts/actions it feels as though I am just watching them happen. However this is just a stress response. I don't believe in free will but I do believe that having belief in it is a positive thing.

I know that doesn't make sense, but you can be a determinist and become deeply depressed. We have the option to self reflect on mistakes and stop negative patterns reoccurring. That is in a way 'free will' but not in the way it is commonly defined. We have a lot of potential to change and overcome this, and a lot of it is stress/fear and I am now coming to believe tension related to trauma. Learning to relax and be non reactive to thoughts all the time is a big part of recovery IMO
 

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You would feel the same about free will if you accepted it was real. It's funny how when you flip existential fears around, the polar opposite can often be just as disturbing!

I have responded here before briefly on the subject of free will. Ultimately, whether or not you have free will (in the absolute sense), is uncertain. The idea seems incoherent, and is paradoxical if real, but reality is under no obligation to be conceivable by our minds. Anyway, the feeling of control is separate from your ideas about free will. Even if you were convinced intellectually that your free will was real, you could still feel like a dissociated observer. The remedy for your delusion of determinism is to exert your will in the world by making decisions. No argument against free will has any power next to the reality of the consequences of your choices in the world.

It's a good thing almost everything we do is under the control of habits formed by our past conscious self, or in the present we would have to consciously manage ten thousands things, such as curl our tongue to form every syllable of our speech.

I think the degree to which you can identify completely with all your thoughts is the degree to which you are an integrated self. We can become a bit fragmented and disintegrated, with different aspects of our self and personality becoming compartmentalized from each other. If you want to change something about yourself, you need to stop identifying with those old thoughts, perceptions and habits.

Okay I think the root of a lot of my stress and problems result around free will. I've been obsessing over the idea of control and free will. Like when I do something I wonder am I doing this because I want to do this or do do these things because programming and determinism. See the issues around Fate and religion don't thrill me as much as the idea of my own self control does. It's almost like I have no reason to question those things if I can't control or dictate things myself and it's all programmed in my head. Like when thoughts pop up I lose hope because the fact they just happen and I have no control. I think the simple fact of being aware of this is what brings depression and anxiety to me realizing that in truth soooo many things are out of our control. I just wonder when I think and speak if they are my thoughts and what I wanna say or just automatic responses from my brain. Any responses? Any relations?
 
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