Okay I think the root of a lot of my stress and problems result around free will. I’ve been obsessing over the idea of control and free will. Like when I do something I wonder am I doing this because I want to do this or do do these things because programming and determinism. See the issues around Fate and religion don’t thrill me as much as the idea of my own self control does. It’s almost like I have no reason to question those things if I can’t control or dictate things myself and it’s all programmed in my head. Like when thoughts pop up I lose hope because the fact they just happen and I have no control. I think the simple fact of being aware of this is what brings depression and anxiety to me realizing that in truth soooo many things are out of our control. I just wonder when I think and speak if they are my thoughts and what I wanna say or just automatic responses from my brain. Any responses? Any relations?