Ok I guess I'll just talk to myself on here cuz I don't know what else to do. I woke up freakin' out and coming on here was the first thing I thought of doing.... that and having another beer, but I don't know where it is! I figure if I have a beer I'll calm down. I took a xanax though hopefully that will help. I feel like I'm gonna puke. I guess I should quit drinking but that seems impossible.
This is actually embarrassing. I don't even know if I had sex last night. Thankfully I was here with people who care about me.... family and my boyfriend. God it's really bad when you wake up and have to take a xanax first thing in the morning. God I think I'm still drunk. My legs are all weak too. Why do I have two cups of water.... one is really really cold. I think the xanax is kicking in thank god. But now I'm gonna be tired all day. I won't accomplish a fucking thing. It's hard to breathe. I went like over a week without smoking and then last night I smoked like half a pack.
Please don't take this the wrong way as I am not trying to be cruel or hypocritical but I don't understand why you would want to drink knowing that it is going to make you feel even worse (DP/DR concerned) than you already do. Are you able to escape from the DP/DR a little bit when your drunk. You know what ignore everything I just said. I have no right to judge you or your coping skills. I mean when I feel like hell I can smoke two packs of cigarettes in a day. I guess we all have our addictions. Just take care of yourself, and I hope you feel better soon.
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