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Imagine that you're looking at a familiar room with familiar people. One day you realize that there is something "fuzzy" about the boundaries/outlines of everything you see.

Soon you begin to see the movie projectors above the ceiling. You see rays of colored lights being beamed to every object in the room. You follow the trails.

Soon you get it.

Every single thing that you have ever seen is nothing but a projection of light. A virtual reality. A lie.

Smoke.

Mirrors.

Dust in rays of light that form images.

As you walk towards the objects, people and existence that you had believed all your life, they start to vanish. You realize they were nothing but ghost images ("wisps" as Dreamer says).

Then you realize the big one.

You are nothing either.

But vague dusty light rays. And as you think of that, you begin to fade.

The only way to NOT fade (you believe) is to not "know" this anymore.

So you spend the rest of your days trying to NOT know. to NOT think. Trying to not let yourself disappear into utter oblivion.

See, not only is your BODY an illusion, your Self is an illusion. There is no core. Whatever you once thought of when you said your own name is gone. There is no one in there. And never was.

Then you realize that even oblivion is a facade.

Nothing. Is.

And you spend the rest of your days in silent abject horror.

THAT, my dear, is Depersonalization. At its deepest.

And I lived with it for years. It is not insanity and it is not "truth"

But nobody IN that state can believe it isn't.
It is a hideous fantasy of self-annihilation.
 
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