Well some of you who read my last post know that I've had a major relapse with dp/anxiety/depression, and I'm right back to square one.
Basically all the little comforts I had created at home, my stable liitle life that brought me so much comfort, was all totally shattered when moving away to uni, which was something I hadn't previously considered would be a problem.
Now this is like the first time I've ever experienced it this bad. Even though I can vividly remember all those hellish 'early' experiences of two years ago, it's like I've never existed outside this current state. I was sitting there in class yeseterday, we were discussing Homer's Odyssey. It all felt so unreal, everything, the teacher, the classroom, the content of the bookmade no sense.
It's agonising to think how good I was feeling just five weeks ago, I can't believe I did in fact feel like that, I muist simply have imagined it.
This sh*t is so horrible.
p.s.One of you asked in my last thread what my degree is, well, that's perhaps part of the problem, it's...er...philosophy. You guys must think I'm mad. But it is in fact testament to how good I was feeling last April when I made th decison to study it. I was happy and comfortable delving into philosophical issues (even those realted to perception, the nature of reality etc). But now it just screws me up further. I cant' quit this degree though, I just can't.
Basically all the little comforts I had created at home, my stable liitle life that brought me so much comfort, was all totally shattered when moving away to uni, which was something I hadn't previously considered would be a problem.
Now this is like the first time I've ever experienced it this bad. Even though I can vividly remember all those hellish 'early' experiences of two years ago, it's like I've never existed outside this current state. I was sitting there in class yeseterday, we were discussing Homer's Odyssey. It all felt so unreal, everything, the teacher, the classroom, the content of the bookmade no sense.
It's agonising to think how good I was feeling just five weeks ago, I can't believe I did in fact feel like that, I muist simply have imagined it.
This sh*t is so horrible.
p.s.One of you asked in my last thread what my degree is, well, that's perhaps part of the problem, it's...er...philosophy. You guys must think I'm mad. But it is in fact testament to how good I was feeling last April when I made th decison to study it. I was happy and comfortable delving into philosophical issues (even those realted to perception, the nature of reality etc). But now it just screws me up further. I cant' quit this degree though, I just can't.