[Guest]

how many have gone so long that you have forgotten how it felt to be the old you? I think thats the scariest part of this stupid disorder, its been a year for me and im forgettin who i used to be and fighting with myself over the fact that im turning into a new person. If only i could get 10 mins of feeling normal like i was before to refresh my memory.

 

[Inflammed]

Feeling normal 50% of the time maybe....somedays more...
I can go a few days without any DP/DR....
Then bang ! In my face... :?

 

[Guest]

well mine is constant... when i wake up its easier but during the night it gets tough i have DR, I used to have DP but it only lasted for a week for me then it went to hardcore DR and now its turned into mild DR with no improvement... which sucks, Ive noticed when i squeeze my head wit both hands my dr gets toned down significantly well thats wierd but im not gonna go around squeezin my head

 

[Inflammed]

Blood pressure maybe ?

When I lay down my arms underneath me it's better too...blood pressure too...interesting...

 

[dreamcatcher]

johnny... .. ive been like this for almost a year 24/7 i really cant remember what reality is like i dont remember how i was before and the thought of never been "normal" again scares the crap out of me......but everyone else that has recovers says that we will recognize it when we get there.....i just hope i wake up one morning and its gone as if its been some sort of nightmare

 

[Guest]

yes i understand exactly how you feel, its kinda wierd cuz its like we are all waiting are turn to get back to the real world completely, ive adapted to this feeling so much that if i return to normal ill be almost enlightened by the whole experience like ill look back at and say whoa.... that was one really long awful dream, and ill be so happy from then on to be normal

 

[Guest]

I haven't felt "normal" in about 15 months. Actually, more accurately, I haven't felt "normal" in maybe 3 years because I spent my entire first two years at college high out of my mind every day.

 

[Guest]

guess you gotta pay the price for everything, i dont see how soo many people go on everyday smoking weed for years and i smoked so little and this happened to me i dont think the weed did it without some other bad toxins involved

 

[Guest]

i have had dp/dr for two years with no signs of who i was-i wish with everything that things could be like they were before

 

[lone wolf]

I have felt DR 24/7 since 1989, with only two fleeting real moments during all this time. I really don't remember how I used to feel life without this invisible icy wall of derealization, but I have learned to live with DR. But I'd say it would be wonderful beyond words, if I someday experienced life without this icy wall again... However, I have no idea/memory anymore, how it would feel like... :?:

 

[falling_free]

I feel like now I am slowly starting to remember what It was like to be me but most of the time its just snippets or a small time frame within a day and then my mind gets into thought patterns of things such as what is me, what defines me etc etc and i feeling my self dissapearing and evaporating into the air. I think at the moment im looking at the long hsul with dp and dr, though im thinking maybe a chage of scenery or routine might help break the cycle of dp/dr, but nothing will be happeninng in regards to me moving away from home until Ive finished college , and even then changing scenery or routine might not even stop dp and dr from reoccuring every day.

 

[Guest]

damn you guys have had it for a really long time, may i ask how you got it ?

 

[lone wolf]

damn you guys have had it for a really long time, may i ask how you got it ?

I don't know why I started feeling DR as a 14-yr-old, but I guess it happened bc of lots of stress during my teenage years combined with a childhood trauma. During my comprehensive school years I was constantly teased at school, and as I had experienced a period of mother's alcoholism while I was very young (ages 6-9), I hardly trusted anybody. I had grown up believing that I should never trust anybody, and although later I learned to see life in a different way, my DR hasn't gone away. Maybe because I still have some issues of distrust deep inside - I have found I still have it difficult to believe that my friends really like my company (my relationships toward my family and boyfriend are okay though). How I started feeling DR, I have told more about it in Depersonalization Stories section - see Ninnu's story there. During these fifteen years I have learned to live with DR, but I still wish someday I would wake up again and see life without the isolating icy wall... Let's see...

 

[Guest]

Sometimes I remember well, how it used to be just after my delivery (whoI was, etc.) but as time goes by, I lost my memory of who I was.



Cynthia xxx

 

[falling_free]

I really hope I my Dp/Dr situation will improve in at least a year , I mean iv'e only had the condition for a year and it is making my life a chore instead of the joy it used to be, if I have to live with dp/dr for the long term like some other people on this forum i don't know how I will be able to cope with work , maintaining my intrests and generally enjoying life like I used to.

 

[Guest]

i see.... well dont hope do something about it from the information you hear in this forum, i guess you earn to be yourself again

 

[Guest]

it has been over 3 years for me and like a year since i have posted on this meassage board....i don't think i even have my dp identity anymore, i think i am just completely lost now....i don't even have dp to hold onto anymore....for me dp is just a word.......i even feel like i am far worst than dp...though I know i am not shizophrenic...only because i can always pretend to be "ok" though they are all just words...words cannot describe....