[Guest]

Can anyone remember what it was like to feel like your old self? I have completely forgot about it and this has been one of my biggest fears. I just cant see me getting rid of the DP feeling without a basis of what the norm is, because i am completely surrounded by DR i cant see past the fog. If only i had 1 minute of that normal feeling so i could be refreshed again. Anyone else out there?

 

[Guest]

When I was... 10, I didn't have it or anything else. I was simply a kid who liked to live, liked to learn, and liked to be praised. I thought a lot, but I never pondered the validity of existence or anything overburdoning to figure out like that. I saw myself as a child among children, a person among people, no different, but unique in my own little ways according to my talents. I was above no one, but I was also below no one. I was the closest thing to normal I have ever experienced, and didn't even think about the concept of "normal" because I didn't know otherwise.

 

[sebastian]

I used to worry about this a lot as well. That i was completely losing who I was, and that i was so lost that i would never again be able to feel "normal" again.

The problem here is that we're idealizing "normal". Our definition of normal has become as dynamic as our always shifting personality. By "normal", i think you mean, "a time when i didn't know what DP was". Obviously, unless you're contemplating some sort of amnesia surgery (a la Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind), you will never be in that state before.

The quagmire here is that we dpers oh so love stasis. And we abhor change. While we can never be that innocent boy or girl, free from the burdens of obsessive anxiety and depersonalization, we can however achieve a new normality which co-exists with the new person we have metamorphisized into. We have to embrace change, and abandon stasis. We have to stop worrying about whether we ever will feel normal, and then we will.

s.

 

[Guest]

yes when i was 10 i was like that too, i didnt start testing reality until i was 12, then 16 i lost some of my reality, maybe if i didn't know the reality i had before i wouldn't be complaining but i do know about it but dont remember how it felt like, its only been 1 year, i feel so fake i want God to know that i am sorry for everything wrong i have done, just please heal me!!!!!!! im tired and I like you and everyone else i dont want to have the responsibility of takin on DP. Work hardddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

 

[Guest]

Johnny - how busy are you during the day? Do you go to school/work?
I find that if I'm crazy-busy the DP thing doesn't get as bad as if my mind and body is idle. Also we DPers are info junkies - we can't seem to get enough of investigating this - as if one word here or there is going to be the magic switch to turn it off once and for all. I know we are just looking for reasurrance & comfort but maybe we are looking too much. Sometimes I feel like I am just going through the motions of my every day life - work, kids, etc., etc.,..but I am hoping through those motions to somehow get reconnected to that part of me that is someplace else - hiding or something - who the hell knows. Just DO whatever it is you do and keep on DOING - maybe try something new that requires you to completely use your brain in a different way. Remember that old saying
"an idle mind is the Devils playground". We are all in this together, Johnny..

 

[Guest]

yea i dont keep very busy, thats a problem because i have nothing to do all i do is work on my motorcycle, go to the gym, or go to class for 3 hours a day 3 days a week, I guess im just tired of doint the same thing everyday

 

[Depersonalized]

I know how I can feel normal, just for a little while tho, 4-5 shots of whiskey will bring me back. However I don't do it because after I get mad anxiety or a panic attack. So I think in my case alcohol was what brought this DP crap on me. I haven't been drinking for more than a week now, but the situation does not seem to get a lot better

 

[Guest]

we try to think how we used to be but we can't go bk to it but we still have it in us somewhere...
I still get wound up about how normal people just 'live'....I think when it comes to remembering your old self...you gotta think about what was your 'grounding' + you could try thinkin' bout what u feel keeps u grounded in reality now( be it emotion/stuff u do etc) .. try n keep a kinda routine/keep busy but also go with the flow...If you feel like doin' somethin' do it... See ya mates n hang out 4 a while or do somethin' completely different...do what makes u feel how u wanna feel...

 

[Monkeydust]

I still get wound up about how normal people just 'live'

Same as, and that's probably a reflection of the problem itself. With DP it's hard to be impulsive or spontaneous; we have to question, doubt or overthink everything to the extent where we're no longer just "living".

 

[shadowness]

i actually CAN remember how i thought and felt before dp and dr and to be honest i am not sure why i feel so different now....

i think to myself how i would 'normally' think and feel and know that is normal...but it does not fit how i am feeling now...

i remember how i 'normally' reacted and felt and thought about things...but now...i just feel like somethign has been removed...something i once had that made me feel like a person and feel like myself has gone and i am waiting for it to come back...

something just feels odd in my head and eues mainly...i know i will get that 'normal' feeling back...

but at the moment dr and especially dp is causing me a lot of upset and depression at the moment...

i hate being able to remember how i was...why do i not feel like that now!

 

[Guest]

My DP/DR is not constant. So, in the morning, I feel pretty "normal" (without symptoms). During the day, I start to feel the symptoms, and they just get worse during the evening, until I, eventually, fall asleep.

I think the most "normal" or "happy" I've felt, was in 1991-1992 when I were together with the "love of my life" and everything felt rosy

 

[dreamcatcher]

i honestley can't remember what my normal was like, i know i'd really like to get there but the thought of only having it for a few minutes really freaks me out

 

[Guest]

I actually felt strangely normal today... until I realized how normal I felt. Then it kinda just inclined at a small slope from there on. I became socially adequate and witty temporarily, I could care less about what was going on in the heads of others. But yet, I still didn't feel like myself. It wasn't me detached from my body, it was me in my body detached from me. Oh well, some day I'll climb out.

 

[coco33]

Good question.

I find it hard to remember what i used to be like, but i do know i miss the old me. Now when i have a so-called normal day i cherish it. DP does make you appreciate life when it is good.

 

[Martinelv]

The nature of DP deludes you into thinking that you've lost yourself, and that you can't imagine ever being 'you' again...especially as you can't remember what 'you' was like.

However, once you recover, and you will, you will slip into your old non-DP state like slipping on a nice warm overcoat on a cold day. I mean, you never forget how to ride a bike do you ?

 

[g-funk]

Yes I agree with Martin, try not to worry about it, you are not lost, because I felt the same (as though I would never feel like me again) but feeling like yourself is a natural feeling and will come back, sometimes really quickly, as if it was never far away and it just feels like it did before. The hard part is learning how to stay un dp'd!

 

[Isobel]

Its the feeling of loss that is bad for me

i think
will i ever be able to think like this again, or will all my self knowledge come back, 3D ness etc what if ive lost my normal belief system etc , or will i be multi-dimensional again,

:roll:

the worst is feeling like this is how it should be and my pre-dp life was all
one big lie

recntly things have been coming back to me like i can feel my feelings but thet seem fragmented, not the full picyure that was there before