Dakota fargoJoe. As you know there are different models of alcoholism. The Chem Dep people and 12 steppers subcribe to the medical model if I remember right,, the powerless over alcohol scenario, the black and white view if you will. My opinion, as well as my former doc who has her phd in alcoholism is that one has to be careful whose mercy you throw yourself to. She says the problem with so many treatment programs and AA is that a good many people who get into those programs are not true alchies but come to believe they are becasue the counselors found them to be according to their formula. They take on the thinking that if they have another drink they will die, that they are powerless over it and it is the source of all their misery. She says that in ten percent of the cases this is true. But for the many that do not fall into this category, when they are outside of their 12 step social fabric or if they have a drink, they tend to throw the baby out with the bath water and go over the deep end. They feel they have no "control" over this issue.. Her contention is that unless you are truly physically addicted or are hopelessly psychologically (pathologically) dependent, that one may only need to see empowerment in their situation in order to change. You say your family memeber has been drinking alot the last few months. Is this situational? divorce? loss of job? depression? One cannot always jsut blame booze and then claim one powerless and do interventions. It is not that black and white all the time. Sometimes yes, but most times no. AA and treatment have done wonders for thousands, but the failure and dropout rates are horrendous. Maybe partially to blame is this tendency to throw all folks into one model.
I was told by her that even though I was drinking heavya t the time that AA or 12 step would never work for me becasue of my need to contol things (ocd issues) and that I was too philosophical to buy into the higher power. Also I am one who needs self empowerment. She worked with me on my situation and I jsut CHOSE to limit my booze, which I did., and it was fine. This is the key for many. to have a choice. So often if you take away the choice from someone, they will focus on it as you know. Thirsty peoples thirst increases dramatically when they know they can never have a drink again. I know AA people reading this less than happy with what I am saying, but this thinking is indeed part of the therapeutic community. Not everybody fits the medical model.
If you do an intervention you risk pissing off your family member for life. You may even shove him over the deep end. You also could be saving his life. But you need to understand where he is at and who he is and what he is about. I would not rely on a chem dep counselor to make this decision. you are always up agaist a stacked deck when being interviewed by one (e.g. one is said to be in denial if he denies he is an alcoholic). I would rather let your member know how serious you folks see his situation and strongly refer him to a psychologist like mine in Fargo here who knows all the sides of the arguements and is able to truly diagnose. Chem Dep couselors are all too often former users themselves with masters degrees who see life bascially from their own lifes persepctive and their 12 step model, which works for many but not for all.
I am sorry for my rather unorthodox opinion here and for preaching it in my ignorance. I jsut have seen way too many people fail in situations where they did not fit.
jft
