I am soon to complete my second year free of benzodiazapines.
alot has happened since then, I don't even want to outline it because I am not sure it would really relay how difficult it has been. But what I want to say is that through working with a therapist, seeking support from friends and community as well as my family, and putting in the homework, I am finally starting to come to my senses. The first year was frustrating because through out the year I would get these glimpses of the state of mind that represented security to me and it was just so frustrating to watch that just disappear so quickly. I had one full day where I didn't feel dissociative in reaction to an herbal medicine I tried. But I would consider that a kindness from God rather than anything else, s/he was showing me what was possible but not just handing it to me. That was a difficult realization to come to. Lots of things have helped me with my process most important of all is just recently deciding that I had to stop drinking booze for at least an extended period of time or I was going to come undone. Several months have passed by now and I can safely say that helped alot. Working with a good doctor or nurse helps as well. I have also recieved some benefit from herbal medicine recommended to me by professional providers. The cool thing about herbalists is that they will often see you at cost, but most insurance doesn't cover herbal medicine. I will add that I think that herbal medicine has been a very important tool on my road to recovery. I still have kind of jittery nerves but it is gradually getting better. Stay patient and keep on trying, even when it seems like it will never get better, it will, it just takes some time to get things back on track.
alot has happened since then, I don't even want to outline it because I am not sure it would really relay how difficult it has been. But what I want to say is that through working with a therapist, seeking support from friends and community as well as my family, and putting in the homework, I am finally starting to come to my senses. The first year was frustrating because through out the year I would get these glimpses of the state of mind that represented security to me and it was just so frustrating to watch that just disappear so quickly. I had one full day where I didn't feel dissociative in reaction to an herbal medicine I tried. But I would consider that a kindness from God rather than anything else, s/he was showing me what was possible but not just handing it to me. That was a difficult realization to come to. Lots of things have helped me with my process most important of all is just recently deciding that I had to stop drinking booze for at least an extended period of time or I was going to come undone. Several months have passed by now and I can safely say that helped alot. Working with a good doctor or nurse helps as well. I have also recieved some benefit from herbal medicine recommended to me by professional providers. The cool thing about herbalists is that they will often see you at cost, but most insurance doesn't cover herbal medicine. I will add that I think that herbal medicine has been a very important tool on my road to recovery. I still have kind of jittery nerves but it is gradually getting better. Stay patient and keep on trying, even when it seems like it will never get better, it will, it just takes some time to get things back on track.
